I am completely ripping this story from the e-pages of THE SUPERFICIAL, a great blog you should all visit now because I stole this and feel weird:
Kevin Smith lashed out at Joel Siegel after the movie critic stormed out of a screening of Clerks II during a scene where the characters are discussing hiring woman to perform sexual favors on a donkey. Siegel got out of his seat and yelled: “Time to go! First movie I’ve walked out of in 30 [bleeping] years!” In response, Kevin Smith wrote on his MySpace:
“Getting a bad review from Siegel is like a badge of honor. This is the guy who stole his mustachioed-critic shtick from Gene Shalit years ago, and still refuses to give it back. This is a guy who seemingly prides himself on his own nyuk-nyuk wordplay. For ‘Pirates 2,’ he made us all titter with ‘Yo, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Fun’ . . . He made us squeal with delight when he wrote, ‘Wheelie Good Time for “Cars.” ‘ I mean, Fozzy [bleeping] Bear laughs at this guy.”
And there’s more: “I don’t need Joel Siegel to [bleep] my [bleep] the way he apparently [bleeps] M. Night Shyamalan’s, gushing over his flick [‘The Lady in the Water’] before he’s even seen it, but [bleep] man, man – how about a little common [bleeping] courtesy? You never, never disrupt a movie, simply because you don’t like it. Cardinal rule of moviegoing: Shut your [bleeping] mouth while the movie’s playing.
“I don’t come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like, ‘ “Shark Tale” Is a Halibut Good Time’ – so don’t [bleep] with my stuff while it’s still screening . . . What are you, a 12-year-old boy cutting loose with your pals at a Friday night screening of ‘Scary Movie’ 4′ while your parents are in a theater down the hall watching ‘The Devil Wears Prada’? Leave the diva-like behavior and drama-queen antics to the movie stars, not the movie reviewer, ya’ rude-ass [bleep].”
If you didn’t read the entire thing you should. And if you’re suddenly interested in hearing more from Kevin Smith you should check out this clip of him discussing Superman. You won’t be disappointed. Unless you really really hate looking at fat people.