Keeping with 2008’s apparent golden rule that any film – total garbage or not – can make money as long as it doesn’t star Katie Holmes, this past weekend was a near-perfect example (though not the best example: that will forever belong to the weekend Rambo and Meet The Spartans ruled the chart).
Rounding out the top two were two critically shamed films starring two of the people I’d least want at a dinner party: Matthew McConaughey and Martin Lawrence. McConaughey’s romantic comedy Fool’s Gold topped the chart with $22 million, followed by Lawrence’s Welcome Home, Roscoe Jones (not to be confused with my adolescent guilty pleasure, the Winona Ryder angst fest, Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael), which took in $17 million.
But joining Mrs. Cruise on the exception-to-the-rule list was Paris Hilton. Her Hottie & The Nottie was waaay at the bottom of the box office chart. Opening on 111 screens, the critically lambasted film averaged a truly pathetic $225 per theatre, narrowly beating December’s similarly ridiculed Jessica Simpson project, “Blonde Ambition,” which averaged $165 per theatre in its opening weekend (though it went on to reach a miraculous $260 average the following weekend).
Honestly, I’d much rather see Hottie in all its imaginably so-horrific-i’ll-laugh-if-im-high campy glory than sit through Fool’s or Roscoe. But I’m obviously in the minority there.
In other depressing box office related news, Alvin and the Chipmunks has made $210 million and Rambo has made more than (here I go again..): There Will Be Blood, 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, Margot at the Wedding, I’m Not There, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly and The Savages combined.