Andrew Sullivan, whose idiotic conservative-gay-agenda “book” Virtually Normal is unfortunately part of my thesis reading list, has written an even more idiotic article on his blog at The Atlantic, theorizing the good vs. evil dichotomy of Shia LaBeouf and Emile Hirsch:
Now, male heartthrobs are normally not my bailiwick, but a very smart reader recently noted that my musings on women make her cringe. Ahem. This comment was, by the way, totally justified, particularly in light of the fact that I once wrote a two-part rap about my inexplicable “love” for Saffron Burrows. So I’m going to do my darnedest to make entirely new demographics cringe by bringing to light the elemental conflict between Emile Hirsch, force of good, and Shia LeBeouf, force of evil.
Mr. Sullivan, just because you announce that something is sure to induce cringes doesn’t make it okay. And don’t you write for The Atlantic? Shouldn’t you be saving the philosophizing of people you don’t know to trash rags and get back to telling gay people to vote for John McCain? And besides all that, look at the reasoning:
I loved Holes and Disturbia as much as the next red-blooded American, but when LaBeouf addressed the assembled hordes at Comic-Con in San Diego last year, he was a punk. Harrison Ford, the wonderful Karen Allen, Steven Spielberg: all were class acts who recognized that the fans are decent, hard-working people who spent a lot of dough to ooh and aah with many like-minded Indiana Jones nerds. Yet Shia slouched and muttered and behaved in a generally impish, prima-donnaish fashion. I’ll never forgive him. Rest assured, there are many millions of people who will throw rose petals at this young man’s feet, and it’s true that he’s a decently talented actor. But you’re no Depp and you never will be, LaBeouf. So you might want to develop some humility. Oh yes, the ladies love cool Shia. Merry Christmas, and damn you to Hades! What troubles me most is that he’s rumored to be the first pick to play Yorick Brown in the forthcoming Y: The Last Man picture.
So, lets put this in perspective: Sullivan is a gay Catholic Republican who endorsed George W. Bush and supported the Iraq war but fucking SHIA LABEOUF is EVIL because he acted “punk” at a comic convention and got cast in some nerd adaptation that is beloved to you? And what makes Hirsch so “good”? A tidbit:
In The Girl Next Door, a silly yet mildly diverting teen sex comedy, Hirsch gave a moving performance that ranged from earnest naif to smolderingly intense proto-pimp. This kid is going places, and my hope is that he will take a brief detour on the way there to trample on Shia LaBeouf.
I think that comment stands by itself, no? Maybe Sullivan should get back to trying to ruin decades of gay activism and keep the celeb commentary to Perez Hilton.