by Christopher Campbell
I initially planned to write an Antichrist-inspired list of most misogynistic movies ever made. But after some minor research, I decided that as a man, even one who has studied feminist film theory, I’m not the best judge of what titles to choose. Besides, I figure there are already enough places on the web where we can debate whether or not Neil LaBute and Lars von Trier are misogynistic filmmakers or if they are in fact the opposite.
I could have instead attempted a list of movies that are misandric, but I don’t think hatred towards men is equally as off-putting to male viewers as misogyny is to women. So, here’s something slightly similar, also inspired by Antichrist (particularly a disturbing genital-mutilation scene in the film), because there’s certainly nothing more difficult for men to watch than scenes in which male sex organs are harmed.
Of course, cinema has been hurting guys’ balls for laughs throughout the existence of motion pictures. And plenty of action and horror flicks depict castration by shotgun, knife, van door and other means on a regular basis. Therefore, I’ve gone specifically with these six sex scenes, since they add to the pain by first teasing pleasure. But no, masochistic delight is nowhere to be found in any of these hard-to-watch movie moments.
Accidental Castration in The World According to Garp (1982)
Let’s begin with a comparatively innocent scene — meaning the castration is, unlike the rest on this list, completely unintentional. Helen (Mary Beth Hurt) and her grad student lover (Mark Soper) are in the driveway in a parked car. As she is giving him head, her husband, Garp (Robin Williams), and their sons pull into the driveway too fast and crash into the first auto, causing Helen to accidentally bite off the poor student’s penis. There’s more tragedy involved, though; one of the couple’s young sons is killed in the crash while the other loses an eye.
Playful Biting Gone Wrong in The War of the Roses (1989)
At some point amidst the insane divorce battle between Barbara and Oliver Rose (Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas), she offers him some oral sex. But it turns out not to be a gesture of peace and love. She really sinks her teeth into the act, literally. Unlike most of the scenes on this list, though, Oliver’s penis is fortunately never severed.
Oral Vengeance in The Last House on the Left (1972)
I can understand the gullibility of Michael Douglas in The War of the Roses, but the guy in this scene is unbelievably naïve. After kidnapping, raping and murdering a teenage girl with his buddies, dude must think he’s pretty lucky to be propositioned for a blowjob by the girl’s mother (Cynthia Carr). Too bad Mom knows about his guilt and has really just made the offer so that she can bite off his penis. For some reason, though, it takes her awhile before she stops pleasuring the guy and commits the horrific deed.
Boner Blood Bath in I Spit on Your Grave (1978)
Similarly gullible, one of the men who rapes Camille Keaton later believes that she wants him again, in a hot bath. She brings him to her cottage and the two get into the tub, where she proceeds to give him a hand job. Just before he’s ready to orgasm, she reaches for a knife and castrates him, causing him to bleed to death.
Castration by Vagina in Teeth (2007)
There are actually three equally uncomfortable sex scenes in this black horror-comedy. Dawn (Jess Weixler) has Vagina dentata, meaning she’s got teeth down there, and though they don’t chomp down on anything that enters her, they are quite unforgiving of rapists and dishonest lovers. It just so happens that none of her three sexual partners is worthy enough to avoid being castrated during intercourse. The last victim is the worst off, though, because his penis ends up being eaten by his dog.
Ball Bust in On the Doll (2007)
Had enough with the castration? Okay, we’ll finish the list off with the slightly tamer punishment of ball busting. Call girl Balery (Brittany Snow) takes revenge on a regular client by teasing him with sex, tying him up and pummeling his genitals as hard as she can. And if you’re brave enough to watch (likely for the first time since this is a barely seen movie), there’s a clip of the scene above. This part was actually used in the marketing of the film (including the poster), so I doubt that very many men bothered to go see it or rent it.