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The Biggest Cast of All-Time

The Biggest Cast of All-Time

Watch out “Nine,” here come’s “Valentine’s Day.” Albeit significantly less classy, just look at this fucking thing:

Who isn’t in this movie? And how come the older cast members, including two Oscar winners – Shirley MacLaine and Kathy Bates – don’t get a place in the heart but fucking Taylor & Taylor get the most prominent spot (oh right… money).

I’ll be downright shocked if this isn’t a piece of garbage, though I do question why Anne Hathaway and Julia Roberts would sign on if so (oh right… money).

Take a look at the new trailer, which seems to suggest Ashton Kutcher of all people is the, ugh, heart of this manufactured ode to lady dollars:

Don’t you want to just take a cold shower after watching that? It’s like Hollywood found the perfect equation to reel in as many demographics of women as possible with – if the trailer suggests anything – a complete disregard for a good script: “Twilight” star + country star he’s “dating” + two “Grey’s Anatomy” McWhatevers + two famous black people + one famous hispanic person + Nickelodeon-set star + old people + relatively classy actresses named Jennifer, Julia and Anne to make people think it must be good + one Valentine’s Day release date. And then they go an add a gay character (which, ps, is nowhere to be seen in the trailer) and a couple of boyfriend-convincers (the Jessicas). Voila: Money.

I really hope this movie fails.

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