A spunky young woman who looks alarmingly like Ray Winstone (the credits reveal that it is in fact the actor’s daughter, Jamie Winstone) chases a Nico-esque blonde (Gemma Atkinson) down the stairs of a rundown converted warehouse apartment building. They argue, the blond telling her lover that she is a terrible artist who can’t even draw a straight line. Her lover lamely, pompously counters that she doesn’t draw, she does video art. Suddenly, they are interrupted by a violent shower of glass from an offscreen accident. Winstone looks horrified for a moment before her face hardens, and she quickly lifts up a camcorder to start filming. This confusing yet cliché introduction nicely encapsulates what’s wrong with Duncan Ward’s Boogie Woogie, a film whose every pointless, clumsy turn only serves to prove its tagline—“There’s an Art to Everything”—untrue. Read Farihah Zaman’s review of Boogie Woogie.