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Watch: Announcement Trailer For ‘Transformers 3’ Has Lens Flare, Clanking Noises & Lame Backstory

Watch: Announcement Trailer For 'Transformers 3' Has Lens Flare, Clanking Noises & Lame Backstory

So, when is a teaser trailer not a teaser trailer? When it’s an ANNOUNCEMENT TRAILER. That’s right fools, Michael Bay plays by his rules and he’s not gonna call the first trailer for “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” something sissy like a “teaser trailer.” Sounds like the name of a backwoods brothel or something that only dorks and losers who’ve never felt up a girl in the backseat of a Camaro would think of.

So even though we don’t get a single glimpse of the cast that includes Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Alan Tudyk, Ken Jeong, Patrick Dempsey and John Malkovich, don’t worry, Michael Bay wants to make sure audiences fully understand the riveting and complex backstory for his upcoming sequel. You see, America went to the moon….and when they were there they found something….NOT FROM THIS WORLD. Uh ohs! Clang clang! Lens flare! Loud music! Woo! America! Actually, it’s probably a pretty good summary of the movie to come.

Anyway, Michael Bay is gonna pimp those robots in 3D son, so you better come correct and pay attention. “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” hits theaters on July 1. Sissies not admitted (unless you bring your hot, Victoria’s Secret-built sister). Watch the trailer after the jump or in skullfucking HD at Apple.

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You people are evil and deserve to be punished. How dare you make fun of such a beautiful, entertaining movie from the creative mind of Michael Bay? Death to The Playlist.


such bitter people

the phantomlimb

And one more thing, that’s clearly Unicron that you see in the trailer

the phantomlimb

You dumb ass people wouldn’t know good movie making if it sat on your face TransFormers 3 Dark Of The Moon well be one of the best ever made.


There are actually Transformers apologists/fans…?

Or were those defensive comments all meant ironically?


the amazing thing is that a talent like steven spielberg puts his name on this shit franchise.


You forgot to mention that they clearly showed Shockwave in this trailer


I thought that was pretty epic. I don’t know what you guys are talking about. OOOOh you wanted a story?? I guess you don’t know Mike. Or Transformers past movies. Welll basicallly BOOM BANG AWESOME. Yep that summarizes it up, but where else will you get your mindless robot, car fighting explosion fest? No movie does it better, you can’t deny.


I think this is just a desperate attempt for them to fall back on the basic premise of the first Transformers and try to make it work again. Will be interesting to see how they tie this all together, since discovering it in the 60’s kind of puts the whole mars rover back story in the dump.


It was Michael Bay who faked the moon landing!

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