What’s going on at some studios is amazing, and if the directors of the ’60s and ’70s could see what’s happened, they would shit a brick. Filmmakers are no longer being wooed, they’re seemingly being plucked based on how their square pegs fit into round holes, with industry heads now using the word “won” to describe a director signing on to a big studio film. Thus, McG has “won” the job directing Universal Pictures‘ “Ouija.”
McG and Breck Eisner were apparently the last two left standing from a tenuous courtship process that involved filmmakers meeting with the heads of Universal, Hasbro and Platinum Dunes with a pitch that would be, respectively, commercial, toyetic and fucking evil enough to get in front of cameras this year for a 2012 release date. The project is described as “a four-quadrant supernatural adventure centering around a family, with influences from ‘Indiana Jones.’” Which makes no sense, because “The Mummy” was highly derivative of “Indiana Jones,” and ‘Jones’ is really just an extended homage to the adventure serials of the ’40s, meaning “Ouija” is just going to be a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy, with influences felt from a fucking board game to boot. Oh, and it will cost $100 million.
We’re eager to learn how this shoot goes, since everything suggests McG was the eighth choice for the project (and “Ouija” was probably his eighth choice too, considering all the potential projects he’s always talking up). As we’ve mentioned before, Hasbro is essentially hate-fucking Universal into making this movie, so everything about it will no doubt scream Product, Product, Product. And by the way, the script is credited to Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, responsible for the Etch-A-Sketch of a script reportedly used for “Tron: Legacy.” McG, who just finished shooting “This Means War,” can probably kiss any chance of being considered a serious filmmaker goodbye.