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‘Rise Of The Apes’ Becomes ‘Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes’

'Rise Of The Apes' Becomes 'Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes'

This Summer, You Will Believe A Planet Can Rise

Those damn dirty apes at Fox can’t stop monkeying around with the next film in the “Planet of the Apes” series. First, they went ahead and offered it to every major director only to be turned down. Then they ordered multiple rewrites despite already having a release date. Finally, they declared June 24th to be the day audiences would see “Cesar,” though they had already changed the name to “Rise Of The Apes.” Then, of course, they bumped the film to Thanksgiving to allow for more time to finish the special effects. Then, at some point, they must have replaced the special effects guys with wizards, because “Rise Of The Apes” returned to August 5th.

And now it’s not even “Rise Of The Apes” anymore. The title has been changed to the more franchise-friendly “Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes.” Which is really a delicious bit of nonsense — how does a planet rise? The explanation seems to be that the new title tested well with audiences. We’re guessing “Cesar” would have ranked as a “Not” on this audience’s Hot-Or-Not scale.

The movie that comes to mind in regards to this situation is “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” which now has another similarity, in that both films have completely nonsensical titles. “Wolverine” was a cheap rush-job by a little-known foreign director disguised as a big tentpole as well, and like “Apes” (which seems to recount the story already told in “Conquest Of The Planet of The Apes“), it features a completely redundant origin narrative audiences probably have no interest in hearing again. Director Rupert Wyatt is currently putting the finishing touches on ‘ROTPOTA,’ with a cast that includes James Franco, Freida Pinto, Don Cheadle, Brian Cox, Tom Felton, John Lithgow and Andy Serkis.

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Well, the planet will “rise” as the apes take over or some shit. The planet of the apes rises. That’s not the biggest problem – it’s the clumsy-ass “Of The” “Of The” twice in the same title. Sounds shitty.


Sounds like they know if they put out a POTA movie, lotsa people will go see it and they’ll make money, even if it sucks. Like the last one. Except they burned me with the last one, and I’m not seeing any more. I’m done. “ROTPOTA” indeed; it’s definitely ROT.

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