Ashton Kutcher Stops Pretending He Is A Movie Star, Signs To ‘Two And A Half Men’

Ashton Kutcher Stops Pretending He Is A Movie Star, Signs To 'Two And A Half Men'

Theoretical Hollywood leading man Ashton Kutcher has decided to take a knee on his big screen career. The former “Punk’d” creator is now gunning for those lucrative TV dollars by replacing Charlie Sheen on the show everybody watches and nobody likes, “Two and a Half Men.”

This is an unprecedented move for the actor, who has recently experienced a solid level of success, his last three films pulling in worldwide grosses of $216 million, $98 million and $147 million, respectively. With another likely hit coming in the ensemble “New Year’s Eve,” the actor has never been hotter. It’s a puzzle why he would return to the world of television where he was discovered on “That ’70s Show.” We’ll go out on a limb, however, and guess that there are ten$ of million$ of rea$on$.

The deal follows speculation that Sheen’s replacement would be Hugh Grant, though Grant apparently balked at the 11th hour due to the grind of a television schedule and the fact that he wants to actually have a real career. Kutcher, who apparently has just enough integrity to take Charlie Sheen’s sloppy seconds, should be an “attractive” enough replacement to maintain the production company’s lucrative syndication deals, though there’s no word yet on what the nature of his character would be.

“Two and a Half Men” costars Jon Cryer and will be headed into its ninth season this fall on CBS. The show remains immensely popular, and last season, reached an average of 13.9 million households filled with sleeping people, the elderly, and fucking assholes. [Deadline]

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Comments

Abner

You could have just said that, Gabe. That makes sense.

TheoC

Well one man will be happy: Josef Fritzl.

Yep that shows target audience is the man who put the father into grandfather.

http://bit.ly/lX7OXX

Kim

I think dads, especially who have 20 something year old kids, in general are the only people that watch “2 and a Half Men.” My dad loves the show.

I heard Ashton is going to be making $1mill an episode. So times that by 22…

LA2000

This is a definite step up in the pay department which is all that matters when it comes to the career of Ashton Kutcher. He will make $12-18 million for 24 breezy, easy weeks of work and have the other half of the year to continue to do movies like “No Strings Attached” and “Killers.”

Ashton Kutcher was never about the art of the cinema anyway.

geden

God bless you Gabe Toro

Glass

” TV was a smart choice if you ask kutcher biographers. ”

*DEAD*

The Playlist

Gabe that non-entity doesn’t exist.

jimmiescoffee

he’s in demand for roles like ‘spread’ and ‘no strings attached’…or is that the same film? anyway, the action star kutcher bombed with ‘killers’ and the holiday films (valnetines day, new years eve, arbor day) are running on fumes. maybe auteur eli roth will revive ‘thanksgiving’ for him??? maybe. TV was a smart choice if you ask kutcher biographers.

Gabe Toro

He’s an in-demand screen actor who is instead going to the television wasteland on a show no one takes seriously. But he’s also a terrible actor. So, mixed feelings, Abner.

jimmiescoffee

wait. you didnt like ‘no strings attached?’ that shit was so great i hope jason reitman follows in his papas footsteps or just continues making ironic movies.

Moses Ashford

I hope that they finally cancel this series. I am bored of it. Charlie Sheen had such a promising career and I am so disappointed to see the direction that his life and career has gone. He has done some great movies in his time such as Wall Street (1987), The Three Musketeers (1993), The Arrival (1996), Shadow Conspiracy (1997), Postmortem (1998), etc. I always wanted him to just do mainstream movies, particularly serious films and dramas, try to reach his full potential as an actor, join the A-list and try to win an Oscar. But now I have just given up on him. He hasn’t surpassed his father, Martin Sheen who still gets better roles and does bigger movies and he has become the laughing stock of Hollywood.

Nolan

My dad is the only person I know who watches the show. So, I’m assuming it’s target audience is middle aged republicans. Not only does my dad not know whole the hell Ashton Kutcher is, he likely wouldn’t much care for him. Seems like a really odd move.

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