The trailers that played in front of X-Men: First Class — a disappointment in itself after so many strong early reviews — were about as inspiring as January Jones’ line delivery. We were, however, inspired to compile this list of trailers that have turned their films into musts-to-avoid. We can’t decide which looks worse, Green Lantern (June 17) or The Three Musketeers (October 14) (you can vote in our poll below). The former is a reportedly $300 million movie that should guarantee Ryan Reynolds is never taken seriously again, with co-star/man-candy Blake Lively’s over-exposure far more entertaining than the sub-par CGI aliens. As for Musketeers, the new trailer now playing at a theater new you (the old one is below) plays like soft-core porn for 15-year old girls.
Milla Jovovich and Juno Temple are going to have a hard time looking pretty next to Orlando Bloom, Logan Lerman, Matthew Macfadyen and Luke Evans. With the arrival of the film’s new poster, ThePlaylist considers which cast member is humiliated the most, and points out that based on EW’s on-set interview (below) with Bloom, he was “was Richard Harris-level drunk throughout the entire filming, so he may have no recollection of being in the film at all, saving him the humiliation.”
And then there’s the ample array of juvenile trash sucking at the teat of the summer box office: Mr. Popper’s Penguins (June 17), The Smurfs in 3D (July 29) and Zookeeper (July 8), which just have us asking “why?” Not to be excluded from our consideration of horrible trailers are the crude reworkings of plots already thoroughly exploited: Friends with Benefits (July 22), Horrible Bosses (July 8) and The Change-Up (August 5). Justin Timberlake’s alleged appeal continues to amaze us. And of course there’s the girl-fantasy flick Monte Carlo, shoving annoying teenage girls (and celebs playing caricatures of stereotypes they represent) down our throats. As for Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts? We’d love to love it, but Larry Crowne looks like a confused, lifeless mess.
We’re actually looking forward to Transformers: Dark of the Moon compared to these box office abominations. Here’s TOH’s summer preview.