I was thinking that my first blog post ought to be something representative and character-defining, to set the tone for my no doubt enormous new readership.
Then I read a news article about Katy Perry's brand new video, in which she plays an elder version of herself, reminiscing about the titular “one that got away". Great, I thought – I can confess my unashamed love of a) crappy pop music, and b) popular culture that acknowledges elder women as creatures of desire.
Then I clicked the link and watched the video:
Dressed as the senile love child of Bride of Chucky and an Oompa Loompa, Perry Senior proceeds to reminisce about the time Diego Luna lovingly mutilated her arm then gleefully vandalised her paint canvas. Being young and female (and therefore artistically impotent), Bride of Oompa failed to understand these acts as expressions of impulsive creativity, with her ignorance eventually sending her lover to his tragic death.
At least that’s how I read it.
Of course I’m being facetious, and I don’t actually want to get into what “message” the video may or may not transmit. I’m just curious how a) such a banal song about so universal a concept as “the one that got away” ended up with such a batshit crazy video, and b) why I can’t help but stick this bullshit straight on repeat.
And that sorry fact is really as defining of my character as any you could hope for.