David Letterman’s Top Ten List has become the place politicians go for damage control (remember Rick Perry’s Top Ten Excuses for his “I forgot” moment?), or to try so liven up a robotic image or revive a faltering campaign. The robotic and the faltering problems both apply to Mitt Romney, who last night delivered the “Top Ten Things Mitt Romney Would Like To Say To The American People.”
Number 10 covers the I- can-laugh-at-myself category: “Isn’t it time for a president who looks like a 1970’s game show host?”
Romney’s deadpan delivery actually worked for Number 9: “What’s Up Gangstas? It’s the M-I- Double Tizzle.” (It works on screen much better than in print.)
Number 4 sounds like Letterman’s writers: “I just used all my campaign money to buy a zoo with Matt Damon.”
But the line that sounds like he really means it is Number 2: “Newt Gingrich? Really?”
Here’s Romney delivering the whole list.