Barbed Wire is the place where Criticwire celebrates the art of the pan. Here’s where you’ll find the roughest, toughest, funniest reviews, with easy access links to both article and author so you can follow more of their work.
Nicolas Cage used to be so reliable. Now look at him. This week, he’s opening “Seeking Justice,” a thriller about a man who enters into a Faustian bargain with a shadowy organization that promises justice for his wife’s rape and then discovers that when a bargain can be described as Faustian, it is usually not a good bargain. Even worse, according to critics, Cage barely brings the crazy! A movie about Nic Cage versus a rape-avenging star chamber and he’s not crazy in it? What is the world coming to? Come back to us, Crazy Nicolas Cage!
Here’s ten great lines from ten “Seeking Justice” reviews:
“‘Seeking Justice’ is the story of a bunch of mostly bald men — possibly jealous of Nicolas Cage’s current hair — who run what you could call a homicidal pyramid scheme.”
“In ‘Seeking Justice,’ a man whose wife is assaulted and raped makes a deal with a mysterious vigilante organization that exacts revenge on his behalf but demands from him a favor to be named later. If you’re thinking that sounds like something that will turn out to be a bargain he regrets, you are correct!”
“Not only does ‘Seeking Justice’ fail on the level of a gripping and violent thriller, it also fails on the level of being a weirdo Nicolas Cage crapfest.”
“Completed four years ago, ‘Seeking Justice’ is dutifully directed, with an absolute minimum of thrills, by Roger Donaldson, whose credits include the terrific ‘No Way Out’ (1987). That film’s title is a pretty good description of where Cage’s career seems to be headed.”
Gabe Toro, The Playlist:
“A couple of years ago, an eccentric award-winning actor had a choice: He could star in an unreasonable amount of movies of declining quality, stockpiling paychecks as his reputation and brand diminished, or he could sell his dinosaur bones and castles to appease the IRS and become significantly less weird. Well, here’s to Nicolas Cage for keeping it weirder than ever, movies be damned.”
“This thrill-free thriller doesn’t have the intellectual heft or moral authority to justify a plot driven by jaywalking, let alone something as ugly and emotionally loaded as sexual assault.”
“It’s likely ‘Justice’ will be of interest mainly to those tireless individuals who compile clip reels of Cage’s worst moments and upload them to YouTube: scenes that make a strong case for inclusion here include a fraught Cage punching one of his teenage pupils in the face, and our hero going completely unrecognized at a journalist’s funeral, despite his picture being on the front page of the newspaper the mourners have spent the entire day producing.”
“At this juncture, Cage is less believable as an average Joe than he is as, say, a cursed trick rider with a flaming skull for a head.”
“‘Seeking Justice’ is memorable only because it contains what may be my favorite new Cage line reading of all time: During a stressful moment, when a secretary asks him if it’s proper grammar to capitalize the second word in a hyphenated compound, Cage patiently replies ‘Only if it’s a noun and the words have equal weight. Like ‘Homeland-Security.’ If it’s a participle modifying the first word, you better keep it lower case.'”
“Instead of seeking justice, this movie should be looking for some entertainment value.”