Hey, Hollywood, enough already. Listen, we know the BBC series “Sherlock” gets a lot of people wet, and CBS is doing their thing with their own “Elementary” series with Jonny Lee Miller and uh, Lucy Liu. And hey, Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law are a lot of fun as the homoerotic crime solvers in that Warner Bros. franchise. We get it. But this is a bit ridiculous.
Elton John is going ahead with a sequel to “Gnomeo & Juliet” titled — wait for it — “Gnomeo & Juliet: Sherlock Gnomes.” DO YOU GET?! IT’S A PUN! ACTUALLY IT’S A DOUBLE PUN! Fucking hell. Seems the creative wizards over at Rocket Pictures were all like, “Blimey! Oy, I reckon that Conan Doyle is a popular fella. Let’s make that the sequel. Fetch us a cup of tea now, will you luv.” In case you must know, the story will find Gnomeo and Juliet teaming up with “the greatest ornamental detective” (uuuggghhhh) to solve a crime or something.
“Action detective stories need some gnomes to liven them up, I’m sure Arthur Conan Doyle would agree,” producer Steve Hamilton Shaw said, hopefully tongue in cheek. At which point the famed author rolled over in his grave and wondered how the hell his literary creation was now being reduced to the size of, well, gnomes.
Oh, Elton John is going to be writing new songs for this too, which will probably have titles like “Sherlock In The Gnome,” “Don’t Go Breaking My Sherlock Gnome,” “I Guess That’s Why Sherlock Calls It The Gnomes,” “Saturday NIght Is Alright For Holmesing” and “Someone Saved By Holmes Tonight.” If he needs help with titles, we’ve got lots of ’em.
Guess we’ll find out how many ‘Sherlock Gnomes’ puns there can possibly be as this thing gears up to shoot this fall. Gnome help us. [Deadline]