I know I already posted a whole list of funny pans of “Seeking Justice” — the lastest cinematic entry in a 65-part series entitled “Nicolas Cage Needs Cash” — but this review is so funny, it deserves its own post. It’s by Stephen Whitty from The Newark Star-Ledger, and it’s structured as an intervention for Cage on behalf of his friends, family, and fans (“Uncle Francis” is in the other room making risotto):
“There are still flashes in this film of the old wild Nic we first loved back in the `80s. The way how, in an early scene, you sport a silver lamé Mardi Gras mask and dance spastically at a nightclub, waving your hands in the air like you just don’t care. Because you don’t, Nic, and that’s what can still make your work a kind of marvelous, unexpected gift, like some crazy old jazzman’s wild jamming solo.
“But ‘Seeking Justice’ – which sounds like a Lifetime movie with Heather Locklear, you do realize that, don’t you? – doesn’t have enough of those moments. Instead it just casts you as an average guy (which you are not, and cannot play) and then has you matching wits with vicious criminals who want to hurt your family. Kind of like last year’s ‘Trespass.’ Kind of like this year’s still-to-come ‘Stolen.'”
I haven’t seen “Seeking Justice” yet — and to be honest, the poor reviews still haven’t convinced me to cancel my plans to see it this weekend, partly because I love Nic Cage and partly because I’m a clinically diagnosed masochist — but this piece really cracked me up. The conceptual review can be pretty dicey — did anyone try the all-Spanish “Casa De Mi Padre” review? I did an all-Spanish tweet review — but this one works.