The origins of the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” have never been terribly complex. Tiny reptiles splashed with a mutagenic ooze, living in the sewers, learning karate, eating pizza. Makes sense, right? Okay, it doesn’t, but whatever — fans have been going with it since the characters’ first appearance twenty eight years ago. Now that Michael Bay‘s Platinum Dunes are producing a new live-action movie adaptation, they’ve decided that origin wasn’t working for them, so they’re taken a page from the “Highlander II” playbook: the Ninja Turtles will now be aliens.
Bay was at the Nickelodeon Upfront in New York recently, and he was predictably asked about the new ‘Turtles’ movie, to be directed by “Battle: Los Angeles” helmer Jonathan Liebesman. Describing the characters, Bay says, “These turtles are from an alien race, and they’re going to be tough, edgy, funny, and completely lovable.” Lovable, alright. Funny, sounds good. Edgy, well, okay, it’s worth a shot, they were supposed to be edgy in the beginning. Oh, and tough, that’s a good on- wait, ALIENS? Every single TMNT fan just shat their Donatello briefs.
“Kids will believe one day that these turtles do exist when we’re done with this movie,” Bay promises, a nonsensical way of grounding his comments about aliens, making the underground-dwelling heroes even more unrelatable. It makes sense given that certain ‘Turtles’ storylines feature intergalactic threats from other dimensions, but the appeal in those matchups were these galactic beings facing off against decidedly earthbound reptilian creatures who could walk on their hind feet. Making them aliens to introduce the likes of fan-favorite Krang (50/50 that this alien announcement means we’re getting Krang) just sounds more like a lazy writer’s crutch, an excuse to do something that has as little to do with the ‘Ninja Turtles’ as vegetables do to Cookie Monster. “Outer Space Mutant Ninja Space Lizards” opens on Christmas Day 2013. [ScreenRant]