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Deconstructing The New (And Final) ‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation’ Poster

Deconstructing The New (And Final) 'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' Poster

Boom! That sound you hear is Paramount pretty much destroying any memory of “G.I. Joe: Rise Of The Cobra.” The moderately successful movie was pretty much hated by critics (with good reason), and the fanboy core were also disappointed and probably didn’t buy as many action playsets as Hasbro had hoped. But hey, a brand is a brand is a brand, and it must be continued, public indifference be damned! So here we have “G.I. Joe: Retaliation” (see, it already sounds edgier!) and now, the final poster has been unleashed on the masses. Can you handle it?

First question: where’s our boy, Channing Tatum? Pretty much everyone and their Mom knows the dude is probably gonna bite the dust in the first act, and his absence here pretty much confirms that. But what other mysteries does this artistic ode to the summer blockbuster contain, besides entry-level Photoshop work done by an intern with two days left on the job? Well, Dwayne Johnson is bringing all of his toys to the movie, while Bruce Willis looks like he walked off whatever cop thriller he was shooting before this was made. But see below…there is much more about the movie hidden deep within the one sheet.

“G.I. Joe: Retaliation” opens on June 29th. Optional swimsuit kit not included. [ComingSoon]

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This is retarded. Not the poster itself, the commentary on the poster. Completely useless. I didnt know a person hidden beneath a helmet and a body suit is automatically considered black and villains.


Extremely bad one-sheet. Does someone get paid for creating promo material that awful?


Awesome! Sadly this will make more than Maleficent thanks to Hollywood misogyny. When a man headlines a blockbuster movie, Hollywood makes sure to give him a strong and deep cast of stars to back him up. But when a woman is fronting the film, she gets undermined with a weak slurry of unappealing nobodies. See also: Elektra and Aeon Flux. Damn your sexism Hollywood!

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