As far as ludicrous movie pitches go, the “‘Speed‘ with a piano’ logline for “Grand Piano” is up there with “Snakes On A Plane” and “Burning Bright” (don’t remember “Burning Bright?” That was the one where the girl from “Step Up 2” and her autistic brother are trapped in their house by a hurricane, only to be stalked by an escaped tiger. Seriously). The film, announced a week or two back, is set to star Elijah Wood as a concert pianist with stagefright forced to play the concert of his life in order to save his life, and his wife, after finding a threat on his sheet music. Again, we’re not making this up.
It comes from producer Rodrigo Cortes, who’s an old hand at confined-space thrillers after directing “Buried,” and the evidence continues to rack up that it’s an actual, genuine movie, as another name star is in discussions to join the project, as Variety reports that John Cusack is now in talks to come on board the film. Cusack, of course, knows a thing or two about ridiculous movies, having recently starred in the unbelievably stupid “The Raven.”
There’s no word as to what role Cusack might be playing, but one suspects he might be the villain of the piece. Or the piano. The script is written by Damian Chazelle (who penned one of the more contradictory titles in movie history, the upcoming “The Last Exorcism 2“), and Spanish helmer Eugenio Mira (“The Birthday“) is directing. The film’s currently courting sales in Cannes, with a July start planned in Chicago and Spain. If you need us before then, we’ll be trying not to think about the state of Cusack’s career. Because it makes us sad.