“This is parkour. Internet sensation of 2004,” Jim Halpert said in a great cold open from “The Office“….two seasons ago. But it seems Hollywood never knows an idea it can’t try and revive and so the very brief street fighting/martial arts/whatever thing that was interesting for about two seconds nearly a decade ago, is now gonna have a new face to try and make it popular again.
Taylor Lautner is looking reboot his leading man action career action with “Tracers,” a movie that he hopes will help him jump over the failed “Abduction.” So get this: Launter is going to play (the most ripped, unlikely) bike messenger in New York City who happens to be in debt to some Very Bad Criminal Dudes. One day he crashes into a “sexy stranger” who seduces him into her bed and into the non-stop thrill ride that is parkour! Whoa! Presumbly he then uses those skills to totally jump over rooftops to evade some of those Very Bad Criminal Dudes and square away his debt and punch some faces and shit. Woo! Boom! Parkour! What this means to his fledgling bike messenger career, we’ll just have to wait for the movie to find out.
‘Twilight Saga‘ producers Mary Bowen and Wyck Godfrey are behind this, hoping their Lautner Bank can keep making them money, but holy hell, couldn’t they have gotten him something a bit more relevant and less straight-to-DVD sounding? Oof. Some guy named Daniel Benmayo, who made an action movie called “Paintball,” is going to direct. It’s like they’re trying to make a terrible movie. Anyway, movie rights are up for grabs in Cannes for those buyers that are interested.