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10 Reasons You Should Feel Uneasy About Macklemore, Madonna & Queen Latifah’s Mass Grammy Wedding

10 Reasons You Should Feel Uneasy About Macklemore, Madonna & Queen Latifah's Mass Grammy Wedding

In case you’re somehow unaware of the epic Grammy performance last night in which 33 straight and gay couples got married on stage as Macklemore & Ryan Lewis sang “Same Love” (and Queen Latifah and Madonna joined in), you can click here to watch it. Once you have, here’s 10 reasons you should definitely feel uneasy.

1. Straight artists leading the agenda on gay issues
Straight allies are essential to gay causes. And as a male feminist, I can empathize. But there is a fine line to tread, and all privileged people with platforms, but especially straight white men such as Macklemore, should surely understand that there are some circumstances where there is value in raising other voices above their own – in this case, identifiably queer ones. Instead, we got…
2. Silencing the voices that really matter
The whole idea of marriage is that it is a public declaration of private love. And I understand how it could be powerful, in theory, to see this declaration made by gay couples on a vast public stage. But in this instance, the couples were treated as decoration and their declarations of love entirely unheard. In favour of Macklemore.
3. Limited screen time for the couples getting married
I’m not saying I wanted to get to know the personal history and star sign of each and every one. But it was bizarre how little we saw of the supposed focus of the song. If you’re going to pull this shit, you could have the courtesy to launch a thousand glitter-coated homosexuals into the night sky. Let them on stage at least! As it was, there were times when this looked less like a public celebration of gay love and more like a badly organized line dancing rehearsal.

4. Madonna’s history of commodifying minorities
If you haven’t read bell hooks on Madonna and black culture, then do. Sadly, Madonna’s approach to gay culture is hardly unrelated. Sure, she has also given a lot of gay people a great deal of enjoyment and support. But when the end game is, as it ever was, the Madonna brand, a healthy dose of suspicion is valid.

5. Macklemore’s self-centred approach to gay rights
As has already been widely noted, rather a lot of his ode to same-sex love centres on his own travails as a straight man suffering from gender and sexuality stereotypes. Which is not an unworthy subject in theory. Just in his ill-conceived rendition.

6. The retrograde lyrics of the chorus
“I can’t change, even if I try”. What about trying to move the conversation on? I’d like to think that by successfully focusing the agenda on gay marriage, we’d progressed from even entertaining the idea of whether homosexuality is something that can be changed or cured. But apparently Macklemore hasn’t.

7. Queen Latifah’s views on sexuality as public property
I’m not here to dictate what Queen Latifah should or shouldn’t say in public about herself or anyone else’s sexuality, and I respect her refusal to discuss her own just as much as she clearly respects other people’s right to celebrate theirs. And it’s not like I’d prefer her to simply stay quiet on the matter of gay rights. This just seems a rather thorny way to wade into a discussion she has long avoided, and one that risks confusing or distracting from whatever message such a stunt aimed to promote.
8. The general warped agenda
If Macklemore, Madonna and Queen Latifah had wanted to make a powerful, public pro-gay statement, and had sat down and consulted the people they aimed to represent, I am fairly sure they would not have come up with this. This was about attention, craven self-aggrandizement and being theoretically shocking, while at the same time, utterly, utterly safe.

9. Madonna’s live vocals
The Grammy stage is where Whitney Houston killed “One Moment In Time” back in ’89. Have some respect.

10. Madonna’s choice of attire
The cane I can handle – because then you correctly resemble that bat shit uncle who is so far behind the times it’s tragic. But trust Madonna to ignore rule number one – don’t wear white to someone else’s wedding, bitch.

This Article is related to: Features



Everyone has a chance to find love and hapiness

Barak Obama

Male feminist? Turn in your man card, pansy.

Truthful Anonymous

im straight but i still support gay/lesbian marriages. Everyone deserves a right to be happy with who they love. So LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGES


Matthew Hammett Knott? You sir are a homophobic, sexist, mysoginistic and racist and more importantly IGNORANT man!!! And let's not forget Arrogant!!! Self-indulgent!!! You're missing the point!!! Your reasons don't even make sense and are illogical! And it is you sir that is craving attention!!! Get over it!!! It was a beautiful performance with a beautiful and purposeful cause! To celebrate the fact that homosexual men and women (lesbians, if you will)
Should have the right to get married! And rightfully so! And now because you sire wrote that article you sir have failed! You have failed to accpet that and you have neglected it!
I AM NOT HOMOSEXUAL! But I AM PROUDLY! ANTI-HOMOPHOBIC! AND AM PROUDLY GAY MARRIAGE! P.S. you JAMES are IGNORANT and a BIGOT too!!!, no matter what you say! Homosexual people have to live through prejudice every single day of their lives!!!! And to quote you: "So why is it ok for you to be who u are, but it's not ok for people who have lived there whole lives with there beliefs and opinions to be who they are? IT'S NOT OK FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE LIVED THEIR WHOLE LIVES WITH HOMOPHOBIC BELIEFS AND OPINIONS Because JAMES until you realise the shit NO… THE HELL that homosexual people have to put up with single everyday of their lives being called a "faggot", "fag", "gay" what have you and then being told that they are the lowest of the low. It's okay because they are NOT HURTING ANYONE! THEY DON'T CARE IF PEOPLE ARE STRAIGHT OR GAY!!! THEY ARE PEACEFUL AND HAPPY! THEY… As corny as it sounds LOVE!!! That is why!!! Until you realise that they are NOT ACCEPTED IN EVERY DAY LIVES!!! HOMOSEXUALS be that of Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, Transexual are NOT ACCEPTED!!! STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE!!! They are always accepted! WHY IS THAT OKAY?!? WHY CAN'T IT BE THAT PEOPLE OF HOMOSEXUAL ORIENTATION BE! BE RULERS! BE CONQUERORS!!! HUH!?! WHY?!? WHY? Because HOMOSEXUALS KNOW AND BELIEVE IN THE TRUE MEANING OF LOVE!!! I WISH I WERE GAY!!! Homosexual people have a deeper and kinder understanding!!! More than us STRAIGHT PEOPLE EVER WILL!!! So to you Matthew and James I say, GROW UP!!! Accept gay people for who they are because they have it 100 times harder than we do! At least they don't get divorced like Catholics do every day which is a sin I believe to the Catholics! (I'm Lutheran so, I don't know about the Catholic faith, but anyway I digress) but at least HOMOSEXUAL PEOPLE ACCEPT AND RESPECT THE SANCITIY OF
MARRIAGE!!! Okay, so my piece wasn't exactly world changing, but just think and consider what you write before you write it down and submit it, please? GOD BLESS! (From a confused maybe lapsed person.) Peace! :)


What gets me, and for the record I support gay rights and marriage, is this idea that people are supposed to change and accept gay marriage and if they don't they are bigots. Let me ask you this, if you are gay can u change it? No, it's who u are. So why is it ok for you to be who u are, but it's not ok for people who have lived there whole lives with there beliefs and opinions to be who they are? That is the only issue I have with the gay community. And not trying to pick on queen Latifa because I like her music and all her movies, but she is rumored to be gay, but she won't come out and just say it, but she can come out and do this?


You're calling yourself a male feminist, yet you're calling Madonna a bitch? You ain't shit. And let me guess, you're probably not even gay.


Exactly "Male feminist" ? Talking about cultural appropriation and invisiblizing people's voice…When you are a man no matter gay or straight you are NOT a feminist, you are an allie and by pretending so you are appropriating other's people fight and identity and invisiblizing their voice by taking their place to place your own agenda. So next time you point the finger please look at what you are doing because it's exactly the same. And on top of ot all when i read this article i couldn't help but having the typical nasal pretentious brooklynite stupid voice in my head, you know the kind, like a gay Kardashian know it all but knows shit type who likes to hear his/her own voice Like hum you know…

fking op is a faggot

i read the words "male feminist" and realized im reading a crap article


You sound like a 22 year old brat who think he knows it all. Shut up. After reading this thread, clearly I am not alone in my opinion.


You are an idiot. Nothing more needs to be said. I cannot even begin to explain how fundamentally important it is for straight folks to not only say "Yeah, I'm okay with it," but to actually be allies and to openly and happily support gay rights. Furthermore, as a hip hop artist, doing so is an extremely risky step to take, incomparable with some calculated (yet still admirable and appreciated) support of many other pop acts.


seriously dude ,you are not right in the head!!


1. well mary lambert has a girlfriend, so she is not straight
2. you said they should have been given more privacy, and then you said they should have been given more screen time. what?
3. this was not for attention. It is a subject Macklemore and Mary are really passionate about. If your family supported something, and they taught you to support it at an early age, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't go against it. They are just trying to express their thoughts through music.
I'm just stating my opinion here, that I thought that some of this was incorrect.


I agree with the article. I think the whole thing was meant to provoke rather than provide a dialogue.

Josh Labron

I must respectfully disagree with every point made her! I don't want to start an argument her, but also as a member of the LGBTQIA community, the message and the stance it made overcame anything that may have been wrong with it!


I'm not homophobic whatsoever and gay bashing is wrong because we are all human beings but I think that was just wrong on the grammys… we were put on earth to reproduce and to worship god.. I don't want my kids looking at that on TV thinking it's ok..


As one of the couple married on the Grammys I have to respectfully disagree with every point made. You have no grounds to stand on. You have no way to justify anything said. You weren't there. You were not one of us. So you don't know.


Is madonna gay?


Almost every point made in this article is completely invalid, and proves to me that people are idiots. The song "Same Love" was originally written by Mary Lambert, not Macklemore. She is a proudly lesbian artist from Seattle, and she is incredible. And Macklemore does have a reason and an inside view on the gay community, having an uncle that is gay. And so what if most of the people on stage are straight?


I mean no disrespect, and I'm not looking for a long obnoxious fight, I just have to say (in a very long-winded way) that I am getting very tired of people looking for fault with artists these days. This whole post is extremely petty and based on conjecture. The fact remains that this WAS a performance, so it's not strange at all that the camera would be focused on Macklemore and the other performers more-so than not. Also, he has no control over the Camera dept. so he doesn't get to say where the cameras focus. That's in the hands of the production team, and they are going to focus where the network tells them to, which is on the money, which is Macklemore, and not on the controversial ceremonies. So yes, to some degree the businessmen were probably covering their own butts, which is perfectly understandable from a business standpoint. As for criticizing Mary Lambert for her lyrics, it's her damn song. She can say what she wants, and this isn't a pulpit in the end, it's about art and entertainment, and if her form of art is self-expression, it's not her job to "move the conversation forward." And as for Macklemore somehow trying to "silence the voices that really matter," wow. Just wow. If a popular kid in middle school would have tried to use their status to give me a little positive attention, I wouldn't be giving them judgmental eyes and saying "I'M the gay one, stop trying to make this about you." I would be saying "thank you for your support" and leaving it at that. It's not like he's Obama or something, switching his views on the issue when it suits him. He's been a long time supporter and as both an artist and a gay man, I'm very irritated by this article.


These were my thoughts exactly!! And isn't one of the points of the song kinda pertaining to the idea of how "not until my uncle's can get married, will there be freedom" , I just feel it's really confusing! Like, Madonna being there?? What!?!? It's already lead by a straight guy, why add ANOTHER straight singer to help the song, while the only openly gay one their is doing the background vocals? I think it speaks highly to how people will label things good and moving, without even thinking about it!

Elizabeth Carter

For me as a gay woman, this song and event were powerful and moving. This was a wonderful display of our world evolving towards equality. AND are we all forgetting about Mary Lambert?!?! I am upset at the fact that she is not getting enough attention from the public, for she is such an amazing woman that writes beautiful music about gay love. She has a genuine perspective and I would love for her to gain the spotlight.

Claire Horn

I read the article and I read the comments and I am so sad that this is the state of LBGT discourse. I totally get that people feel pissed and think this is petty bitchiness in the face of something important – but really, do you express that by telling this guy he's a worthless piece of sh*t? Clearly he is gay, he writes for this blog, is this how we deal with each other. fwiw plenty of his points really hit home for me (also gay, am I allowed an opinion?). I agree with the commenter a bit below who talks about the need to maintain a balance between gratitude and critical self-awareness – and actually watching this at the Grammys made me feel uncomfortable for all sorts of reasons. The reactions of some of these commenter suggest their vitriol should scare me off from feeling this way, but that's bull. Plus, I notice 3k people have liked it on FB, which is about 2,900 more than have bitched about it here.

Sxip Shirey

There are people who do work and those who bitch about it.

it's me

Whaaaa? I quit watching award shows years ago. But I am puzzled. Why was there a mass wedding at the Grammy's? Seems oddly out of place. Why is the Grammy org promoting marriage? Madonna–how many times has she been married? Doesn't seem like a "sacred institution" to her.


Thank you Matthew! You said exactly what I've been thinking. And the motives of so-called allies who capitalize from advocating LGBTQ rights are highly questionable. To make a song where he lists his stereotypical assumptions about what it means to be gay hardly qualifies as advocating for the people who live that experience everyday. I am a self-professed ally, but as an ally I recognize the fact that I cannot speak for gay people, I can only support them. I contend that he had no place making this song unless he was going to play second fiddle to someone who actually lives and experiences the realities of being gay or lesbian in this country. I think privilege comes into play very loudly with this song, which to me is a watered down presentation of the very serious issues facing the LGBTQ community, freedom to marry is a great concern for many, but health, safety and discrimination are much more serious and just as important if not more. If Macklemore wanted to make a statement, for free, that would be honorable. But putting his weak assessment of what it means to be gay on wax is just another form of capitalizing from his privilege as a straight white male. And there's no change being affected by that. Your write-up was spot on!


There were a few important points made (the concept of privilege is undeniably visible), but there was also unnecessary negativity on certain points. Besides, I still can't understand why a feminist (especially a male who claims to be a feminist) would call someone a bitch (especially to a woman), no matter how pissed they are.

Dita Vodka

This is ridiculous and your claims are absurd.


jesus christ. All people should sit at home looking in mirrors, examining their priveleges, feeling guilty, and should also fight their own causes refusing a hand out or a leg up from anyone who may be even the slightest bit more well positioned?
how much liberal arts undergrad debt are you in to feel the need to write this?


This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read. Makes me wonder which is worse: Idiot gay bloggers or straight people defending us on national television. Can't you find any other outlet for your gay bitchiness?


Whine, whine, whine. Personally, I'm thankful for the straight allies who have influence and CHOOSE to use it to help the LGBT community. You sound jaded and full of it, disrespectful and unthankful. Shame on you, Matthew. You are the worst kind of reaction to this event, and as your gay elder, I officially slap you in the face and tell you to snap out of it.


Could there been more focus on the couples getting married, probably. However focus on the big picture here for a moment. There were same sex weddings on national prime time television, (did you get that? let me repeat it) there were same sex weddings on national prime time television. No one was going to get that to happen except for big stars. Less than a month ago there was a same sex wedding on a float in the Rose Parade, while the parade is televised on multiple channels and not considered prime time, the wedding wasn't shown on any channel that I could find. It is a step in the right direction that should be celebrated, instead of telling the Ally's hey thanks for wanting to help but we don't like how you did it so F off. The equal rights movement is not going to make it far if the ally's are told they aren't wanted and aren't needed.


Dearest Alex B

You are so right – thank you, thank your from the deepest part of my soul for making me see the light. I genuflect before you intellect and social refereeing. I have seen the error of my ways and I wish you and yours nothing but the best.

Sincerest Regards,

Your Logically Flawed Gay Homophobe


I cant tell if you, in writing this article, were so desparate to be edgy and therefore decided to write such utterly stupid bullet points, or if you actually have these opinions. You fail either way. Words have meaning, and my fear here is that you are alienating potential and current straight allies by writing this. I am thankful this is low circulation.


MATTHEW HAMMETT KNOTT (writer of this article).. Your write up is really the one and only reason I feel uneasy about this celebration of civil rights on national television. So negatively approached (scathing).

Its not perfect, sure ..but progress never is

P.S. at this stage in her career Madonna can wear wtf she likes


Dearest Alex B (and Brenda for shits and giggles)

Blow me.

Or just reply here with some other cocktail party banality. I anxiously await the next witticism

Hugs and Kisses

Your Favorite Gay Homophobe

Patricia Logan

I just need to make sure I got this right. Because they weren't gay enough for you, or purple enough for you (or in this case too white in color and clothing), you don't want the help of your allies? What the heck? As an ally and and advocate, I am ashamed for you and I don't even want to think where the GLBT community would be without allies of all shapes, colors, sexes, races, and fashion impaired. The community has come a long way in a few years and unfortunately, I cannot wave my magic wand and make all of this homophobia disappear overnight. Sorry, Matthew, you need us… the way the Jews needed Christians during WWII and the way that slaves needed their white allies during abolition. Shame on you for trashing people who stand up and believe in equality. How about this? Be a little more SUPPORTIVE of your SUPPORTERS!

Candy says

It would appear that some liberal queer blog must have sent its minions to troll this post. I agree with most of the points made and think that gay people are lowering themselves into accepting crumbs from the table from the straight (and closeted gay) establishment. The Macklemore song's lyrics are laughable in their unintentional offensiveness. Gay people are famous for the thick skins they developed through the years; it's so sad to see such a strong, willful, and viciously funny people reduced to such Lifetime-level gestures of gingerbread sentimentality. I for one had a good strong laugh over this bullshit and will look for other ways to go against the prevailing cultural mores. Abstaining from public weddings will be my first act of rebellion.


Way, way, way too cynical and bitter. This was prime time TV, an awards show, with the "whole world" watching. The idea that this could have occurred in any way, shape or form as little as 2 years ago was unthinkable. On New Years Day the gay wedding at Rose Bowl parade was not even shown on TV.

SO, yes, it wasn't "as perfect" as it would be if it were designed by gay activists. And of course the performance artists have ulterior motives supported by the whole thing. What is completely missing is that this whole movement–being comfortable with same love, acknowledging that "I can't change", and the legal right to marriage equality is about changing peoples minds bit by bit. This was a HUGE win, "free" publicity that could not have been garnered any other way. If the ceremony was abbreviated, well the awards speeches are truncated for the expediency of time. GET OVER IT and cheer the win.


Brenda – I am gay, engaged to a man – but thanks for playing!


Yawn…to you and this article. Get a grip and drop the "grasping my pearls" indignation. It may not matter much to some queen living it up in Hells Kitchen, but for a kid living at home in the middle of some flyover with no where or no one to turn to, its a pretty powerful message.

P.S I'm really sorry that guy never texted you back after your date. Don't worry its not you, its him.


Don't agree with all the points, but don't understand all the comments saying this is full of hate and bitterness. He said he felt uneasy!!!

paul rodriguez

Couldn't think up 10 so you just threw number 8 in there? Most of the time, if someone is making a list, the item that comes after the word "general" is BS. Just like this one.

Jem coones

To sum up this blog: BITTER QUEEN

Melanie Steward

I understand personal opinions. I happen to disagree with this one.

Thomas Moore

I have to say the article or "blog" was opinions from a negative person. I agree with many that this article was negative and bitter at best. Regardless of your view on Madonna, QL, etc… ten years ago this would not have happened on a world wide distributed television show. I enjoyed it as did many millions. It was Hollywood and many times Hollywood has been by the LGBT community when others have shunned us, tried to keep us down, dismissed us, so on and so forth so who cares if Madonna is just being Madonna (don't forget an entire generation and then some put her in this iconic status). As for his two comments about the couples being decorations and the voices being silenced… Yes, they were decorations on a stage show called the Grammy's and the voice have not been silenced, just turn on the t.v. or facebook and read/listen to those, just like us, saying what they feel about it all. In my "opinion" this persons ramblings was horrible and negative and more of an anti celebration of gay marriage than several other haters I have read.


this author sounds completely full of hate and bitterness. i hope nobody buys into this crap. ungrateful and judgemental and horrible at his job.


I think that what you said about doing something shocking in a safe space is really, really important here. California is about as safe as it gets for living an openly gay life. The location of this stage, in LA, is a (generally, as always) safe place for people to live out this lifestyle. The message this sends to the rest of the country is not "Oh hey, homosexuality is all cool guys, be tolerant" it is "Look how f-ing great it is to be gay/lesbian/queer in Los Angeles, California."


And what have you done for the cause? You sound smug. And you have TOTALLY missed the point of the song and the show. You are what I like to call a HATER.


Assuming you are gay, as I am, I have to say I get the bitterness, but lighten up. I grew up in a time when you did not see gay people on TV (and if one happened to appear, he either became straight or died – Steven, a character on Dynasty, did both – he died, and then reappeared as a straight man), you did not hear mention of gay people on TV (other than people making fun of us). Being openly gay was only possible in the East Village or San Francisco. We hung out in bars, movie theaters, bath houses or bushes at night and by day we pretended we were other. We lived in fear that we'd be discovered, that our bosses would find out, that our families would disown us, that we might get beat up or killed. The little freedom we had was always tenuous. It could be taken away in an instant, by an act of violence or a piece of legislation. To see a lesbian perform a marriage ceremony on prime time television, some of the couples same sex, others heterosexual, all equal in the eyes of the law, to see an advocate like Madonna, who has always supported and embraced us, use her celebrity to further our cause, and to see newcomers like Macklemore, talk about his own personal experience (have you listened to his interview where he talks about the song, or are you speaking out of your own ignorance?) and raise us up as equals. Have you seen the video for Mary Lambert's song, "I can't change"? – I had tears in my eyes watching it because it was the first time in my 54 years that I have ever heard a love song/seen a video, that reflected the kind of love I feel. I am assuming you are young, and you grew up in a different time and place that I did. I appreciate your unwillingness to settle and to always seek perfection. The generations after me have continued to push our movement forward. But please, I am asking you, for people like me, who had to live in fear, shame and silence, try to see the good in every step we take forward. This was good. Relish it. Watch Mary Lambert's video. Feel the love. Watch Mackelmore's interview. Feel the love.


Only part I agree with is the last sentence (and only for comedic value). I'm not going to get into a huge comment war (which never go anywhere on the Internet).

I'd just advise you to look at the video for the song. It's a great example of how SELFLESS, not selfish, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis have been about the topic of their song. Macklemore is only in the video for around 5 seconds, and he isn't the focus of the video (and he's barely more than an extra). He realizes that what he is rapping about isnt about him (a poignant outlier in rap). The video reflects that. Despite the attention he has gotten from the song, he actually cares about this issue. Listen to the interviews he and Ryan have done (specifically the one they did on 'Tell Me More').


Perhaps the value is in on-going visibility. We've come a long way from a wooden gay kiss on Melrose Place. And whereas straight anuses used to audibly slam shut whenever we were on tv, now they seem to slowly creak to a narrowed-yet still open little maw, like a broken screen door gently hissing a ssssssssssssssssss before going rigid a good foot from the latch.




So, you call yourself a "male feminist" and you use the derogatory term "bitch." Right. That's how a feminist writes.


What I've concluded over years of gay marriage being debated is that no side ever wins. Anti gay folks will always disapprove and most gay folks (and some straight people) will always fire back. Nothing will ever change so why not just drop it and move on?


10 reasons I won't feel uneasy!
1. 3 super influential artists stood up for love, acceptance and equality.
2. The Grammys took the opportunity to create an event to celebrate love, acceptance and equality.
3. 40 million + tuned in to witness love, acceptance and equality, not a 15minute claim to fame.
4. Madonna has always stood up for love, acceptance and equality regardless of wealth, race, sexual preferences etc etc
5. Macklemore(not gay) and Mary Lambert (gay) created at song that addresses love, acceptance and equality from the perceptive of a kid with a preconceived idea of what it all meant…
6. The song is about love, acceptance and equality… The lyrics (words) of songs are typically of a poetic, rhyming nature. The meaning of lyrics can either be explicit or implicit.
7. Queen L dived in in support for love, acceptance and equality by the power vested to her by the state to legally marry people. She did it with grace.
8. See points 1, 2 and 3. It was shockingly amazing to watch people share love, acceptance and be equal in a safe inviting and welcoming way.
9. Even in 1989 Madonna sounded amazing on stage as she performed at the VMAs, song choice was… Express yourself, even then she was encouraging love, acceptance and equality singing… Don't go for second best, put your love to the test.
10. It's an age-old wedding etiquette question that's been the source of great debate: Is it okay to wear a white dress to a wedding if you are not the one getting hitched? Believe it or not, etiquette books say yes to guests wearing white (and black, and even red), as long as the fabric and cut of the dress aren't bridal at all. Madge didn't look bridal, she was there to celebrate, love, acceptance and equality.

A Gay Man

Who gives a rat's ass about who was straight, Gay speaking against gays what ever. This one performance said that it's ok to be who you are and don't be ashamed of who you are. I think Madonna looked very good for her age and the suit fit her well.


How about you piss off with your pissy, negative, made up problem. The show was awesome. Mack and Madge are both awesome. Coming out IS a part of being Gay and Queen Latifah will come out when SHE'S ready. Now find something real to report on or just STFU.


Most stupid article I have read in a while…
Dude dedicate to something else… I am sure it's not too late!!!


You are disagreeing for the sake of. I didn't identify one clear point in any of these bull shit ridden statements. Sorry.


While I respect your right to voice an opinion, I have the right to disagree with it. We witnessed a defining moment in the quest for equality for all, let's pay tribute to everyone who has stood up for equality in race, religion, women's rights, sexual orientation, democracy and human rights… Regardless of their own preferences, motives, vocal abilities or attire. We are truly blessed! Let us continue with passion and compassion, let's continue to lead by example and let's turn the dream of equality into reality!


I have to say this: I don't think I agree with a single thing this person stated. I'm a gay man and I didn't feel the least bit offended. In fact…I was truly moved by all. ESPECIALLY queen Latifa. I think you all are just a bunch of bitter ole queens. You need to just say thank you when appropriate and speak up for something significant and this in my opinion was not significant.


We have to stop crucifying our straight allies for the way they support us. We all play a part in promoting positive change. When our allies are willing to use the public platform they've been give to advance our cause and help bring awareness to the need for equal protection and equal rights, then we should simply thank them. That being said, I'd like to thank all of our allies who performed and showed support on the Grammys as well as extend a huge thank you to all of our straight allies who support us everyday. Equality does not come easy, and we can't do it without you.


This blog seems very bitter and negative, we have far more pressing and serious issues to deal in the fight for equality to split hairs about Madonna's attire or to be ungrateful for massive exposure and the support of celebrities. It also bothers me that the blogger says that straights are leading the agenda or that they are silencing the voices that matter, gay marriage is a civil rights issue and nobody's voice matters more or less, and our straight allies deserve our gratitude, not criticism. Oh and the the pop-ups on the blog are annoying.


i think the real issue here is that trying to find something wrong with an event like this is like a queer reflex. i think just as sad as christians who are desperately trying to hold onto their bigotry is a queer blogger culture that is just as desperately trying to hold onto victim status. you could have just enjoyed the moment for what it was, a really lovely show of support aimed toward a primarily straight audience, modeling acceptance (as the song does). i think few people were made 'uneasy' by anything actually contained in the performance, but rather they feel that way because they think they're supposed to find something to be upset about. and, frankly, saying how much you enjoy or were moved by something doesn't feed the blogger/facebook click machine the same way as shitting all over it. that might feel good now, but once this kind of whining ingratitude starts hitting the mainstream conversation, it's going to cost us supporters.


Sorry BUT you have no clue ! Im sure I can find you 10 reasons, you suck !
STOP reading into things that aren't there.
I enjoyed the performance and the meaning behind it.
Open up your heart, and shut your dumb-ass mouth cuz nothing good comes out of your writing.

Ellie B

Reading through these comments it's kind of interesting to me that most of the negative reaction is from those writing under traditionally male names. I know a comment like this will get ravaged – and don't worry I'm not about to launch into an essentialist rant – I just wonder why more ladies aren't piping up? Is it that they agree, disagree, or can't be bothered to join the shit show? Personally I'm wondering why one guy expressing his opinion prompts such mass of vitriol? Doesn't the word "uneasy" mean something different to him outright condemning what happened at the Grammys? Is he not allowed to criticise, raise opinions and foster a little dissent without all this ad hominem crap?


I kind of agree with this. Everyone has their own opinion on it but as a gay man I just feel like they were making gay marriage as a side show of the circus known as the Grammy's. I don't think it's petty to not want to feel like your struggle is a half time show on a national televised network. Then again, people can do what they want. I'm happy that people were able to wed and marry who they wanted to marry. But I mean at the end of the day, will Macklemore be going to Pride this year? Did he go last year? Or the year before that? It's nice that Macklemore wants to support our struggle but I wouldn't feel comfortable with him being the voice to get our freedom.


Someone always has to go and throw shade. I can see some of your points maybe having some validity, but overall this article is from a person who doesn't actually know the full scope of Macklemore as an artist. Do a little more research. Anyone want to direct your comments to the writer of this article, found his Twitter handle.


You article made me uneasy about reading blogs. Who the hell are you and why should anyone care about your narrow-minded views on those marriages? They chose to get married in that venue. Yes, it was a stunt but it was one that needs to be made.


This is exactly why I deleted my Facebook account. I am so tired of people hiding behind a computer and bashing other people. As a gay man, I have absolutely no problem with the performance/ceremony at The Grammy's. As far as I'm concerned, everything you said is YOUR OPINION, which you're entitled to. But who do you think you are that the world gives two shits about what you have to say about our straight allies. If you don't have anything positive to say about someone, just keep it to yourself. Seriously, no one cares what YOU think.


This article is ridiculous. Seriously. This was one of the biggest things to happen to the movement. This was great. You are trying to create controversy. Shut up!

Matt Steele

How did you get this writing job? You completely disregard the fact that Mary Lambert collaborated with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis on the song. Then you say that this performance hurts the LGBT community and your last few reasons as to why are some bitchy, shallow comments on Madonna. Get off my computer screen.

Paul Richmond

It's so easy to be critical, to question everyone's motives, and to make fun of them because you don't like their outfit or their voice. If I had any doubt about that, my social media feeds have erased it in the days following this performance. However, I have nothing but gratitude for anyone who makes a public statement in support of equality. Period.


Well, I don't feel uneasy at all, much less after reading this ridiculous take on a major, major moment on the stuggle in the right direction. I wish something like this had happened on TV when I was growing up. Thank you to Macklemore, Madonna, and Queen Latifah!!!


Ok – firstly the entire article was spot on. Like it love it hate it,.. It was right on. That being said artists love a cause that gives them exposure and media. No exposure no media = dead career. Lots and lots if people jump on a/an/any bandwagon they they may not actually be personally vested in. But all that being said I was disappointed in the marriage ceremony – no vows,.. No words – nothing but a ring exchanged and the actual focus was on just about everything but those getting married. As a gay man I don't really feel bad for wealthy and hugely popular artists who don't quite fit an exact "box" for others. Really,..I don't. I guess I need to accept that for most,..hype and notariety at far more important than anything else. But then,..this was the Grrraamzies. I should not expect higher standards,.better performers or singers who can actually carry a tune without an AutoTune. And Madinna wearing WHITE on the stage for others g
Getting married,….. The focal is on those getting married,.. If it's not,.. Then don't pretend you actually care about those getting married. It was a stunt,.. A gay and STRAIGHT marriage stunt,.. But a stunt none the less. :-) it is TV after all.

Viola Shumski

When Madge came hobbling out, I thought it was Joan Rivers… or Betty White.




Seriously, this article is ridiculous. First, have some respect for Madonna. As a gay man, she's done more for me, and millions like me, regardless of any self-interest on her part, than you or your followers ever will. Also, can't we be happy that this happened? I don't get it. It was historic, and to many, outside of your bubble, obviously, was a completely foreign (maybe disgusting) spectacle. Having 3 of the most renown performers (past and present) onstage endorsing these weddings and officiating in and of itself was a huge accomplishment. As for points 1 and 2? I think having Queen there did the queer people repping themselves trick–unless of course you needed a gay man up there as well. Get a life.


Also, why it may have had it's flaws the truth is we witnessed gay marriage on live television to about 40 million people. That is something that has never happened before. But yeah, let's just make it all about the negative.


This is one of the dumbest articles I've ever read, shortly behind this last one I read on this exact same topic coming from the gay community. Macklemore wrote the song from HIS perspective as a child growing up with two gay uncle lovers. To expect him to do what this author is suggesting, ("If Macklemore, Madonna and Queen Latifah had wanted to make a powerful, public pro-gay statement, and had sat down and consulted the people they aimed to represent, I am fairly sure they would not have come up with this.") to arrive at an artistic statement that will meet the PC requirements of a vastly varied lgbtqixyz community, is just laughable. People don't make art at a political meeting. They DID a powerful, public pro-gay statement, all by their supposedly lowly itsy bitsy straight selves. As soon as it was over, I heard people like author Armistead Maupin saying that they and their partners were in tears watching this. What is it about some people that they can't just appreciate people who are putting their necks out for our rights, and instead they have to turn around and talk about their inferiority as artists? Madonna was sued for $10 million dollars for standing for gay rights in Russia. Not good enough for you? Treating minorities as a commodity? Get real. Everything in this entire article is just stupid nitpicking for no reason whatsoever. It really sounds more like jealosy than anything. I don't see even one valid point in the article.


Madonna had a cane because she hurt her leg and has been on crutches. Just FYI.


Too late "Gay Exploitation" to brand Macklemore a one-hit wonder. He's already had numerous hits.


I was appalled at this "event" from the start. Marriage is not something to be done onstage at the grammies while a straight man sings a song about gay people. No thanks, you do not speak for me and I don't need your help. This whole thing was exploitation of gays at its most blatant.


I saw this performance as being more about tolerance than speaking on behalf of the gay community. Everyone is the right person person to encourage tolerance, especially when they have the public's attention for whatever reason.

Regarding Point #8 – the author might want to invest in a dictionary before using words just because they sound good. Craven means "extremely cowardly." Whatever else you might think of Macklemore, Madonna and Queen Latifah's performance, it was not cowardly.


What I find MOST interesting about the above commentary is how slighted the opinion is in very specific directions. Though I have never seen a photograph of the author I would be willing to bet that the author A)is under 30 B)was not born on U.S. soil C)lacks understanding of the performer's intent D)is ignorant of the true pop culture landscape and D)just likes to hear himself ramble.

There are so many issues here. Let me just point out the most glaring offenses. First of all this was not intended to be a big "Pro-gay statement". It was a statement to promote tolerance of ALL human beings. The couples in the audience were straight, gay, black, white, etc… So your points about the gay agenda are irrelevant.

The performers being self-serving and ego driven punctuated above. It was the Grammy Awards. Let me repeat…it was the Grammy Awards. It was about Macklemore's nominated song having to do with tolerance and equality. It was not RuPaul's Drag Race. Of course the attention was on the artist. If the artist who wrote it had been gay…then HE would have been focused on.

Lastly, the immature comments about the performers vocals. Let me see…who do I have more respect for? A woman who has been in the pop culture landscape for over 30 years and amassed a fortune of just under 1 Billion dollars…or a "has been" crackhead (albeit with a beautiful God-given voice) who OD-ed and drowned in her own bathtub.

I suggest the author of this blog get a reality check.

The J

Regarding Rule #10, Madonna took the focus off of all those poor brides who would have been otherwise subjected to whether they really deserved to wear white on national TV. There's nothing worse than seeing a bride cringe because she knows people are gossiping about whether she is "pure" enough to wear a white wedding gown.

The J

I understood that there were straight couples married as well. Shouldn't the author have addressed that we witnessed straight and gay couples married side by side and how unique that is for now but won't be in the future? Isn't that groundbreaking too?


I could see if Madonna came out like Miley Cyrus did just recently, how that would then distract attention from the couples, but since they hardly SHOWED the couples it's hardly worth mentioning. What saddened my most was that Madonna looked looked and sounded like an 80 year old woman, despite the obvious cosmetic surgery. I hate seeing the break down of artists that contributed so much.

I found that most of your points were terribly weak and a wasted time of reading. Leave the writing to the professional or raise up objective thinking.


Just a question, why are gay men for the most part such fruitcakes? are there no manly gay men?


So, gays get a big star studded nationally televised wedding at the grammys (just think about that for a moment, and imagine yourself in the world of 15 years ago) and what does this author do? SOMEHOW still found ways to be offeneded. The big gay wedding wasn't gay enough, the hosts weren't gay. Non gay people are fighting too hard for gay rights. I myself am not gay, I support gay rights (but not at the cost of straight rights). I'm just sick of this foolishness, the gay community achieves something ( which I personally don't think had any business being on the grammys, gay or straight) and all this guy can do is pick it apart. Keep your mouth shut and chalk it up as a win. An inflated sense of entitlement never helped anyones cause.


I have 2 big problems with your article….

On your first point – you're right, Macklemore, Madonna and Queen Latifah are straight, but you completely ignore the fact that Mary Lambert, who sang much more than either Madonna or Queen Latifah, is a lesbian woman.

On your 6th point, you completely leave out the very next line of the song: "Even if I wanted to." The song is poignant, the lyrics mean something in a world where too often people still believe that being gay is a choice. But they aren't ignoring the fact that it's not, in the song, they say it in the very next line.

You try to pass this off as an intellectual look at a celebration of love and support, but then ruin your whole article by commenting on Madonna's clothes… That point, all by itself, invalidated your entire argument to me. Who the hell cares what someone is wearing? It's not what they're wearing that matters in this, like at all…

As a gay man, I stand and applaud artists like Madonna and Macklemore for not only standing up for the gay community, but sticking to it despite any controversy pointed their way. It's an unfortunate truth that aside from the zealous homophobes out there, the people who seem to be hardest on the gay community's supporters are the gay community itself.


So Mary Lambert. The one who sings the chorus of the song is gay. She wrote a whole song and Macklemore heard it, loved it and they worked together in making a new song. I don't see anything wrong with that.
She was a religious woman who struggled with her identity and cried every Sunday after church because she was at war with her self. Finally coming to terms with herself she wrote the song. She's not crying on Sunday anymore.

I don't think that it was specifically about gay love. The song to me is about LOVE and Acceptance no matter what your difference from the "norm" is. the general message in this song is a good one.

This was a song that was written when a gay woman was coming to terms with herself. Does every song have to be 100% politically correct? Isn't music something that helps sooth the sole. That was written to sooth her sole and people loved it. If people only wrote songs to promote agendas then people would stop listening at some point.
'And the stuff about Madonna I don't have any opinion on.. except the don't wear white to someone else's wedding. true dat.


thanks for the article and for putting my discomfort into words. there's even more – that christian church setting or those weird straight-boy-moves of macklemore or this couplenormativity …
however, the comments in here make me wanna vomit. how about deleting the antisemitic and sexist crap???


Regardless of how many faux pas there were it was a step in the right direction for man kind. You clearly missed the point. SAME LOVE. As in labelless love. These people volunteered to be wed as part of the act. Who are you to judge the sanctity of someone elses marriage and how they choose to go about it. This was touching and refreshing. Disney is going to have gays now, we have gay and straight weddings happening synchronized on the grammys. This is a beautiful thing. This is what we've all been waiting for. Take your pseudo intellectual facade and stuff it.


piece of crap. how dare you bring down this. this is not a marriage thing. this is a human rights issue. the song is about rewriting society. the lyrics LITERALLY SAY THAT. "a certificate on paper isnt gonna solve it all, but its a good start. no gods gonna change us, we have to change us." freakin hate you idiots. seriously. i shouldnt have expected more from a feminist. just kidding i 44didnt at all. YOURE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE ATTIRE?! AND VOCALS?! YOU SAY YOU SUPPORT US BUT YOU BRING US DOWN!

Tony B

I'm a 46 year old gay white man and it made my eyes well up to see the understanding that we all have the right to get married and the fact that everyone was side by side was amazing. It's pop music. Maybe you should watch some current Youtube videos where gay men are being murdered with logs and burned to death in front of children to really understand the gravity of what I saw last night. Or maybe you're unaware of what is happening in Russia and Nigeria right now. So please watch the news. Madonna is a gay icon and her presence was merely poignant. Are you old enough to remember when people thought Madonna had Aids and she had to go on television and say she didn't? This is the world I live in as a gay man and any voice that speaks up against injustice is a friend and an ally to me. Just as I speak up against racism and any other injustice I see happening. Someone does not have to be gay or white or a man for me to defend them. I hate bullies and cowards behind keyboards. And for the record, for every "Madonna" who is defending people's rights, there is a "Matthew" trying to take them away.


Hey Matthew, you have no right to call any woman a bitch.

"Male Feminist"

A male feminist? Look, I can understand there's a girl you really like, but that's more pathetic than liking everything she likes just to try and have a shot.
The benefits of being a gay man is not having to put up with women and their horseshit ideology of feminism. (Which does NOT support equality–otherwise it would be called egalitarianism–but demands blanket supremacy over men just to soothe their wounded egos.) In my experience with those charlatans, they'll treat you like shit until they find out you're gay, then they start gushing about mythical solidarity (against the mean, nasty heterosexist-patriarchy-blah-blah-blah), only to follow by saying we should go shopping sometime, or why can't all men be like me. The only response to that is: we are not your fags, you hags!
My point is that gay men are still MEN! We don't need "protection" by any bitch like Madonna. (Who, like any woman, postures advocating for others then makes it about herself.)
Another thing: what's with this "privilege" bullshit that white liberals are fixated on? Sounds like the Jews are at it again for another power/money-grab by making gentiles fight each other.

gay exploitation

Madonna is starting to show the strain of playing the music industry game. Instead of holding full court over the matrimonial couples, she was reduced to making a guest appearance as a gay fairy godmother, altering her own song to fit into Macklemore's, a one-hit wonder if there ever was one.


Oh, and the only one who lacked respect for Whitney Houston's voice was Whitney herself. At least Madonna sang live, something that can't be said for Beyonce, who's an artist who's supposed to have a great voice.


To question Madonna's motives is, I suppose, par for the course at this point. Hell, it was par for the course 25 years ago. But I wonder how old you are? I don't mean that in a condescending ageist way, like the way you slyly made a dig at Madonna being "behind the times." What I mean is that a lot of queers under the age of, I don't know, 30 seem to lack a sense of historical context when talking about how they're disappointed by the way some heterosexuals are championing marriage equality. There was a time when Madonna was one of the few mainstream voices going out of her way to stand up for the LGBT community. When I was a teen, she was all there was. Yes, times have changed, but to suggest she's somehow appropriating gays is simply incorrect and lacks an understanding of her life and her place in pop culture. Madonna supports gays because they supported her from the very beginning. I'm not talking about her fans, or her career. I'm talking about her teachers and role models growing up. And she cut her teeth at the tail-end of the Warhol years in NYC, when she watched all of those mentors and close gay friends die of AIDS. She became an outspoken leader in AIDS awareness and research. Not because it was fashionable. Because it affected the people she loved. So, by all means, question Latifah's hypocrisy. If someone like her had come out years ago, we wouldn't have needed Madonna. And if more gay people in positions of "power" would stand up now, we wouldn't need Macklemore. But regardless, you don't think some straight white kid in suburbia is going to be more receptive of the message coming from Macklemore? So, feel uneasy about it all you want. It might STOP one gay kid in suburbia from feeling that way.


The article is really missing the point here.
It's true that there was a stupid n-word use on Madonna's part but there is no evidence whatsoever that she is in any way racist. Her dating and adoption history is the best proof.
She hasn't given the joy to her gay audience, she was one of the first celebrities to support the gay community. Back when those kind of views weren't popular and could seriously damage her career. Yes her views are part of her brand but so are everyone else's.
The only problem I had with the performance was the Queen Latifah's dumb speech at the beginning… The insistence that the song is for everyone as we all believe in the same god. No girl, some of us are not religious…


When I heard that a number of gay and straight folks were getting married on a Grammy award show, I thought of the mass weddings of the Rev. Sung Yung Moon's Unification Church…

Jake Brewer

There are a lot of problems with this, but particularly with points 6 and 7.
Point 6 – I'm from a conservative family. All of them think being gay is a choice. You're lucky you don't have to deal with people who think that way anymore.
Point 7 – Queen Latifah being closeted (or not) does not exclude her from being able to participate in advocacy. You thinking that it does is absolutely ridiculous.

I do, however, understand why you think the gay couples didn't get enough airtime. What you have to remember was that this was a Grammy performance, and the impact was still the same.

I have a feeling you live in a liberal, very gay friendly bubble. I do not. I appreciate what Macklemore did. There may be some problems with it, but to me the end result was something very touching.

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