Review: ‘True Blood’ Season 7 Episode 2, ‘I Found You,’ Spends A Lot Of Time On Very Little

Review: 'True Blood' Season 7 Episode 2, 'I Found You,' Spends A Lot Of Time On Very Little

This week’s discovery: If you play the "True Blood" theme at x1.5 speed, it turns into a danceable rock-a-billy tune. Try it on HBO Go today! I have to take my jollies where I can because woof, this episode. I was trying to be nice last week, but this one broke me pretty quickly, thanks to an emphasis on barely-developed side characters and lots and lots of Lettie Mae.

But first we open on HOT JASON-ON-ERIC ACTION. It’s always so polite of "True Blood" to provide its own fan fiction.  Basically, Jason still dreams about banging Eric and we get to watch. The sequence is sexy and kind of funny and serves no narrative purpose whatsoever save for titillation, which rather sums up "True Blood" in a nutshell. At least the show is embracing what it’s good at.

After pleading with the town to let her help because of her special knowledge of vampires, Sookie proves her worth to the investigation by pointing out that she tripped over a stranger’s dead body last episode and hey, maybe that means the vampires are out-of-towners. So really, Sookie’s "expertise" is that she is the main character of a television show, and as such will literally trip over vital clues so she can be involved in the plot.

READ MORE: How I Shot That: A DP from ‘True Blood’ Explains His Toughest Scenes

Meanwhile, Lettie Mae is chasing the V dragon, combining my two least favorite things on "True Blood": Lettie Mae and V addiction. Has there ever been a Lettie Mae moment on this show that was worth even a hint of a damn? Also, has ever been a storyline about V addiction that was about V addiction? (If your answer to the second question is "That time Jason and Lizzy Caplan murdered Stephen Root in Season 1," then you are correct and I will give you a cookie the next time I see you. Hope you like snickerdoodles!) It takes considerable skill to get me invested in a fictional addiction storyline, and "True Blood" hasn’t managed it once, despite going to the well, what, three times now?

TARA DEATH WATCH 2014: Still dead, although she shows up in Lettie Mae’s V hallucination, so Rutina Wesley earned her paycheck.

There’s at least an amusing moment when Adilyn is arguing with Andy and exclaims, "But I’m eighteen!" You just have to take her word for it. An hour later she might be like "I’m twenty-one! I can buy my own whiskey!" 

Speaking of Adilyn, at some point we also have to address the fact that the boy she’s into is her future stepbrother. It’s unclear if the show’s going to play that as comedy or tragedy, but it’ll probably wind up being funny either way.

Also, while everyone credited in the opening titles is off investigating, Vince’s vigilante squad stirs up the townspeople. The crowd starts the scene cleaning up Bellefleur’s and ends it by trashing the place, breaking everything in sight for staking materials. Vince tells everyone’s that Sam’s a dog and the crowd is just like "Sure, makes sense." These scenes are like the mob scenes in early "Simpsons" seasons: "We’re here! We’re queer! We don’t want any more vampires!"

Deputy Kenya opens the police stations’s armory for the rowdy townsfolk when it’s pointed out that Jason gets to do all the policing in town despite not having seniority. Someone should tell Deputy Kenya that if she wants to do police work, she needs to get her name in the opening credits. The townspeople loot the armory and all start shooting firearms indoors to a song whose only line seems to be, “I’m gonna stick to my guns!” It’s the subtlest music choice this side of Black Sabbath’s "Iron Man" closing out "Iron Man."

I’d talk about Arlene and the others trapped in Fangtasia, but those scenes are mostly just screaming and yelling, so let’s just say that I really don’t understand how these infected vampires work. Hep V kills them in a matter of days, right? So how can the infected form packs and raid towns if they die within that short a period of time? Couldn’t humanity just ride this out and let the infected die off? And how did the vampires get everyone in that dead town out of their houses to murder them? 

Sookie reads the dead girl’s diary but it’s missing the entry that reads "Dear diary, it’s night again, but we’re safe from the vampires in our house. But hark! A knock at the door! Whoever it shall be, I will invite them in and welcome them, as a true hostess should. Until next time, keep on truckin’, diary!  Signed, Dead Girl." I let a lot slide on this show, but this one’s really bugging me.

Continuing this season’s nostalgia tour, we get a pretty cute flashback to Season 1. Remember when we didn’t know that Anna Paquin (and everyone else in the cast) would get naked on this show? We were so young and innocent. In the flashback, Bill and Sookie flirt a little, then Sookie runs off to put on her best push-up bra. The best part is that it features one of the millions of times that Sookie blew off work to have vampire adventures. Hey Sam, screw you for trying to run a business! No wonder he gave the business to Arlene. I bet his mayoral aides actually work a full shift.

And we close with our worst nightmare: Eric’s got the Hep V! BOOOOO! And those weird bumps on Jessica’s arm might mean she has the virus too! Basically, this is a virus that targets my favorite characters — which hurts just as much as when Pyro got the Legacy Virus in that issue of "Uncanny X-Men." I’m sure you’re all on board with that comparison, because the crossover audience between “True Blood” viewers and readers of 90s "X-Men" comics is extremely high. If that’s not true, don’t tell me. I’ve already suffered enough this week.

Grade: D+

Jeff Stone loves cartoons, wrestling and hour-long prestige cable dramas. You can follow him on Twitter @WheelbearGo.

This Article is related to: Television and tagged , , ,


Comments

eiyiyi

This show is all over the place. I will miss Alcide, but I agree that it seems the writers are trying to get Sookie and Bill together through process of elimination. My dream ending is Sookie's fairy blood heals Eric and they get together. If Eric dies of something as trivial as Hep V then Governor Burrell and Sarah Newlin win, something most followers would scream about. Those two clowns over a 1000 year old Viking vampire? No way. Writers start your edits now before you thoroughly destroy the DVD sales of True Blood. Who would want to watch a series where all the great characters are killed off. It destroyed the book series , so take note!

MichePi

Agreed on all counts- except for the drawn out scene between Jason & Eric. Pointlessness & far too long. Alcide now seems useless to anyone. And we spent too much time with nameless-faceless characters, mainly the townspeople & the hepV-gang. And the Pam-Eric saga is important to me!! And… why didn't Pam "feel" anything when Tara died? I strongly suspect she isn't dead, she was central character and I'm surprised they wouldn't have given her more screen time on her death scene, plus everyone is just accepting her crazy mother's word for it.
I am bummed with this season. I liked the hierarchy of vampire royalty and it feels like the show has really jumped the shark. I'll be watching anyway, #truetotheend.

Thiago

anyone know the credit's music name from the ep.02 season 07?

Arcturus

This show is a pile. Sam's main function was calling people (the Feds, anyone in St. Alice) and saying "they won't answer, we're on our own!" What a crash and burn from seasons 1 and 2. They could end it right now and it would be fine.

Lolo

I had the same questions! Can't the townspeople just stay in their houses and um, not open the door when the vampires knock? And why the $&% didn't someone think to check Fangtasia?? Hmm, people are being held by vampires to feed on, wait, I know of a place that is set up perfectly to hold people for vampires to feed on, right down the road! I thought when Sookie had that Fangtasia flashback that it may dawn on her…but nope. That is just dumb.

JS

Audiences can willingly suspend disbelief but when this series abandons its own story logic, it starts to feel like it was assembled by middle school students: Sookie, the tastiest of vampire treats, walks home alone in the dark after a vampire attack; she willingly tosses away her cell phone; then trips over a dead body which she then abandons without reporting. This single scene encapsulates everything that is wrong with the series — things happen because the plot demands they must, not because real characters would act this way under these circumstances. Then to compound the amateurishness of the writing, in last night's episode, when Sookie returns to the body with Jason and the Sheriff, they just pull her wallet and leave. No one thinks to mark the body, call it in, or even cover it before they depart. Just one little detail like this would make the scene resonate with authenticity. But as it is, the dead body in the woods is just a callous prop, poorly planted, shamefully exploited, then quickly abandoned. This isn't just fad writing, it is truly wakeful.

JC

Honestly the first 3-4 minutes were the best of the entire episode. LOL

MikeATL

This show really has come off the rails, more and more disappointing the last 3 seasons.

Tim

Think maybe we're to assume to hep v vamps glamoured people?

J.J

I dont think Jessica has Hep v…. shes not healing because shes starved, since she has nobody to feed on.

yep yep

what i dont get is why they didnt check fangtasia first its kinda almost like there retarded or something someone that makes these episodes thinks we are stupid or something

E

You said everything I was thinking while watching this episode. Who gives a shit about Lettie Mae? Who gives a shit about random townspeople? Who gives a shit who's mayor? Why on earth did they have to wander around town if Sookie can hear people (or lack thereof)? Why is Sookie with Alcide? So the Hep-V vamps only need 15 minutes of sleep in the daytime? And also they don't seem as rapid as they act?
They have so much they need to get done in this final season and they're wasting time on nothing. Seems to me their setting us up for a Sookie x Bill ending with the love flashbacks. Also we're supposed to pretend it's 2011 according to those diary entries?

Selena

I just HAD to come and read this to confirm my worst nightmare of Eric having hep V. Is that even possible?? They CANNOT kill him off at the very end. A cure must be found! Also, what happened to Eric burning up when he was reading that book and was naked in the snowy place? Did he just… survive?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *