Review: ‘True Blood’ Season 7 Episode 3 ‘Fire In The Hole’ Commits to Arbitrary Murder

Review: 'True Blood' Season 7 Episode 3 'Fire In The Hole' Commits to Arbitrary Murder

It was the best of “True Blood,” it was the worst of “True Blood.” On the one hand, Anna Camp. On the other hand, everything involving the angry mob. On the one hand, James and Lafayette. On the other hand, Lettie Mae and Reverend Daniels. On the one hand, Eric’s flashback. On the other hand, Bill’s flashback. This episode truly had it all!

I admit I was wary at the start of this episode, since it seemed to reintroduce Eric only to have him be lethargic and disease-ridden. But lo and behold, a good deal of time was spent on an Eric and Pam flashback, set in the golden days when Eric straight-up did not give a crap.  The flashback gets extra points for 1) copious unnecessary nudity, 2) Eric’s gloriously feathered 80’s hair and 3) holy shit a CORPORATE KATANA ASSASSINATION SQUAD (because Japan’s involved, I guess).  That’s what I’m talking about!

We also got an actual explanation for some of my concerns from last week, as Pam states that vampires can live with Hep V for an extended time, provided they have a regular, fresh supply of blood. Okay, sure. But y’know, that’s the sort of information you might want to provide at the beginning of your season, rather than after people have wondered just what the hell you’re up to for three hours.

Alas, this episode couldn’t just be the adventures of Eric and Pam in France. (Dear HBO, if you would like to greenlight “The Adventures of Eric and Pam,” I would review every episode with pleasure.) We also had a bunch of action happening in the present day, with a unruly, armed mob blocking off what I suppose must be Bon Temps’s only street, seeing as how every character had to drive down it this episode. They try to murder Sam, to no avail. Why does Sam never turn into a dinosaur? I ask this mostly because Sam Trammel starred in a made-for-TV movie called “Anonymous Rex”, where he played a dinosaur disguised as a human private investigator. I am not making this up. I promise that if you click that link, your life will be better.

READ MORE: Should Your Interest In ‘True Blood’ Be Reborn for the Final Season?

The show seems to have gone all-in on this Lettie Mae storyline, which is unfortunate, because I can’t be bothered to care about anything Lettie Mae-related, especially now that Tara is dead. They even give a perfectly fine monologue to Reverend Daniels about why he could possibly stand her, and actor Gregg Daniel does his best, but nope, the moment anyone even thinks about Lettie Mae I start wondering why we can’t have more scenes with a CORPORATE KATANA ASSASSINATION SQUAD. And let’s be honest, “True Blood” is a show with too many characters as it is. It’s not the time to be beefing up the superfluous roles, unless you’re going to start bumping people off. Speaking of which!

TARA DEATH WATCH 2014: Welp, Pam confirms that she felt Tara suffering the true death.  SO MUCH FOR THIS RUNNER, I GUESS. Also, congrats to “True Blood” on the most ineptly-handled death of a major character that I can think of off the top of my head!

Oh, and RIP Mrs. Fortenberry. Your last moments were at least grounded in your character and the continuity of the show, but it’s not like anyone’s going to miss you. So that’s probably the major character death for this week, right? Right? Nothing else to see here.

Just some quick hits from this week that were primo “True Blood”:

  • Sookie muttering “I have a boyfriend,” as she noisily slurped blood from Bill’s arm.
  • KENYA: “Your daughter struck me with lightning that shot out her hand!”
    ANDY: “I know, I heard, and I’m very proud of her!”
  • CORPORATE KATANA ASSASSINATION SQUAD (Can you tell I’m into these guys?  I am ALL IN with these guys.)

James and Lafayette got some decent moments, although most of them were commiserations about taking drugs, and I’m not sure if that’s a solid basis for a relationship.  Did you guys notice that they re-cast James between seasons? Because, confession time, I did not notice until someone explicitly pointed it out to me. Specifically, an article mentioning that the original James actor was uncomfortable with this season’s gay content, because I guess that guy had literally never even heard of “True Blood” before appearing in an entire season of it.  

Anyway, James and Lafayette might be a thing, meaning more heartbreak for Jessica, because being mean to Jessica is something this show has seriously gotten into the last few seasons, and it’s not a trend I’m fond of.

Ugh, I guess I should mention Sookie. Sookie’s mega-genius plan this week is to literally sit in the forest taunting vamps while Bill keeps watch up in a tree. This plan is so terrible that even the lousy Hep V vamps see through it immediately. Fortunately, the opening-credits players show up to shoot all the infected vamps (because I guess being able to move at super-speed doesn’t help you dodge wooden bullets), but then the angry mob pops out of the bushes and murders Alcide. Surprise!

Hoo, boy. So they bumped off Alcide. Hilariously, the first bullet hits Alcide off-camera, because “True Blood” is great at sexytimes and camp goofiness, but really bad at bumping off major characters. Anyway, RIP AB SCAFFOLDING.  Man, this season is really into arbitrary murder! Did the writers finally get around to watching “Game of Thrones” and think they shouldn’t have the monopoly on random surprise murders?  

Anyway, tune in next week, when probably Sam gets crushed by an asteroid or something. I don’t know.

GRADE: C+

Jeff Stone loves cartoons, wrestling and hour-long prestige cable dramas. You can follow him on Twitter @WheelbearGo.

This Article is related to: Television and tagged , , ,


Comments

Jon S.

The show has been handed over to a bunch of place-fillers — writers with no sense of story logic and zero life experience. It has devolved into a group of characters aimlessly running here and there to fill time, struggling to generate a sense of motion but devoid of any real urgency. Sookie's grand plan? To wait in the woods with Bill so she can be attacked? What eighth grader came up with that? "True Blood" didn't just jump the shark, it slammed into it with a wood chipper so you can now suck it through a straw. No wonder all these major characters are biting the dust (in horribly directed, almost throw-away moments). They saw the scripts for the rest of the season and wanted out before the show's death spiral takes them down, too.

James M.

This opening paragraph makes me want to cry with grief over the death of decent writing: "It was the best of "True Blood," it was the worst of "True Blood." On the one hand, Anna Camp. On the other hand, everything involving the angry mob. On the one hand, James and Lafayette. On the other hand, Lettie Mae and Reverend Daniels. On the one hand, Eric's flashback. On the other hand, Bill's flashback. This episode truly had it all!"

S

I would love to watch "The Adventures of Eric and Pam"!
The CORPORATE KATANA ASSASSINATION SQUAD must be in it of course!
PS: Thanks for 'Anonymous Rex' suggestion. After watching it I still think that this season of True Blood is worse than a dinosaur disguised as a human private investigator. And this says a lot.

Sumpin

Season 7 is the worst ever. Nothing makes sense. It's so poorly written you would think it was written by a 11 year girl, although I have to say an 11year old girl may have done a much better job writing the show. If people were not already invested in 6 years of the show, no one would watch it.

Ziggy Stardust

This show has become truly awful. I couldn't care less about any of the characters anymore due to these incredibly boring and useless story lines. The previous reviewer said it best: this show is putting together an all-time-worst final season. Unwatchable.

MB

Its astonishing how badly written this show has gotten. Like, one for the record books. As in- I can't even take the time to list the stupidity that is happening because its all stupidity. Even the stuff that is still great (well, Eric and Pam about sums it up) only exists in order to not allow you to resign with how terrible everything else is. I like bad tv as much as anyone, but in the last two seasons TB has descended through a level of 'so bad its funny' to 'this is actually painful to sit through' and now into 'I cant look away from this abortion of a show, no matter how much it is scarring my psyche'.
But at least the writers have been kind enough to lay out their hand in the first 3 episodes. We know exactly what is going to happen- saccharine sweet reunions of ships previously betrayed a million times over, killing off everyone that getts in the way of said relationships, every character proving they have learned nothing and not developed an eyelash in all these years, and killing off lots of characters in completely random and unfufilling ways (next week- Sam gets accidentally struck and killed by a city bus).
The thing is- this isn't even going through the motions (which would be infinitely less painful, if far less interesting if you're fascinated with god awful writing). The people writing and producing this show actually believe what theyre doing is good. Thats what really makes you question the future of humanity.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *