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Review: ‘True Blood’ Season 7 Episode 9, ‘Love Is To Die’: Jason Becomes A Man

Review: 'True Blood' Season 7 Episode 9, 'Love Is To Die': Jason Becomes A Man

In fact, the cliffhanger was “Another
conversation is going to happen! Oh, and maybe the Yakuza will show up.” I
can’t remember another show that had fewer dramatic stakes going into its
finale.

So, as predicted last
week
, Hoyt and Jessica do indeed get back together, although first
she confesses the whole “I wiped your memory at your behest” deal.
And that’s a good thing, too, since that would be too weird a thing to just
leave hanging. So with just a few bits of dialogue, they’re right back to
sexytimes.

Jessica does find time first to pop by Bellefleur’s to
officially apologize and break up with James, although James and Lafayette
already seem to be an official couple. I guess we don’t want any of the
characters mad at each other as the show ends! That might be a downer and we
can’t have that. Speaking of happy couples, Arlene is officially together with
VAMPIRE KEITH. Honestly, all the scenes at Bellefleur’s feel like one last
check-in with all the side characters. I’d be surprised if they get any
dialogue next week.

Oh yeah, and Sam left town forever, off-camera! Because
True Blood”! I hope Sam Trammel left to go shoot a new “Anonymous Rex” movie! I would forgive so much of this show if that
happened. 

Bill confesses to Eric that he’s ready to meet the true
death, so that Sookie can be free of him forever. Eric: “Get over
yourself, Bill.” FAIR ENOUGH. Thanks, Eric! I have no time for Bill’s
whining and will be legit bummed if he winds up with Sookie, but all signs
point to that happening. Prove me wrong, show! You’ve still got an hour left!
Bill’s decision is pretty weaksauce, but I’m guessing he and Sookie will talk
about it EVEN MORE in the next episode, so I don’t have much to add for now.

Eric winds up flying Sookie around a little bit, and their
easy chemistry is once again apparent. C’mon, Sookie, give Eric one more shot!
He’s
not mean, he’s a thousand years old, and he’s just lost track of his moral
code!
 Eric gets so worked up by being in close proximity to Sookie
that he finally decides to have sex with poor, neglected Ginger. Ginger straddles
him, climaxes immediately and thanks him for the privilege. That was all pretty
hilarious, actually. 

The episode does actually have some nice scenes between
Jason and Brigette: Through a series of wacky and unbelievable circumstances,
she winds up staying at his place, and Jason warns her that they won’t be
having sex. Brigette tries to relate to Jason personally rather than sexually,
and they wind up chastely lying in bed together, telling secrets. Jason’s
always been a character that could really go wrong in the hands of another
actor, but fortunately Ryan Kwanten personifies “loveable doofus”
more than any other performer I could name. I’ve always been on Team Jason, so
it’s nice to see his character reach for a little something more, no matter how
contrived the circumstances.

In a blistering subplot, Pam dyes Sarah Newlin’s hair back
to blonde. Yeah, you read that right, that’s seriously a subplot. I can only assume Anna Camp had to be
blonde for another role, because otherwise WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
Second-to-last episode, everybody. Second. To. Last.

Eventually, though, Pam once again gets trussed up in silver
by the Yakuza. She gets taken out by those guys so often and so easily, my only
recourse is to assume she’s secretly in league with them. Anyway, the Yakuza
threaten to stake Pam unless Eric admits that Sookie knows about Sarah, and he
confesses that she does. So it looks like it’s the Yakuza vs. Sookie in the
finale, but not before Bill and Sookie have a really lengthy conversation about
feelings, because feelings are basically the only thing the show’s got left.

Grade: C-

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