Hey, squirrel friends!
Mama Ru is back and she’s brought a fierce pack
of blood thirsty queens with her. You can check back here weekly for our recaps
and readjusted Queenly Rankings.
Now, let’s read these b*tches for filth! Or, at
least assign a totally subjective ranking based on their performance in week
All Shade—Here’s the Recap:
The queens can’t even muster up some feigned
sadness that Tempest DuJour was eliminated as they walk into the workroom.
Kandy Ho’ is almost gleeful wiping away her sweet message to the girls—”You’re
never too old to dream.” And Violet Chachki wastes no time on pleasantries
before complaining about her win in the
first challenge: “I hate Michelle Visage,” she says, and the room is stunned.
I’m stunned. What? Gurrrl. No.
Ginger Minj says it best: “Of course she judged
you. It’s. Her. Job.” Ginger’s the Bianca del Rio of this season, I’m calling
The next morning it is time for one of the
sillier mini-challenges in Drag Race herstory:
model your flapping lips while getting blown…by a leaf blower. For some
reason Moby shows up as a guest and comments on how he feels short and homeless
compared to Ru. Duh, but also like, why is Moby here? He’s both too famous and
After taking 15 minutes to get into some
raggedy-ass drag, the girls pose their faces off in a laugh-out-loud edit of
their best leaf blower looks. For no reason whatsoever, Ginger Minj and Trixie
Mattel (still two of my faves) are the winners and get to choose their teams
for the main challenge: a spoken word lip synch pre-flight safety video for
Glamazonian Airways! What?!
Teams(in the order in which they were chosen):
Team: Sasha Belle, Jasmine Masters, Mrs. Kasha
Davis, Jaidynn Diore Fierce, Kennedy Davenport, Kandy Ho’
Team: Pearl, Miss Fame, Katya, Max, Violet Chachki
I love that Kandy and Violet were the last
picked. They were shocked. You want to know why, ladies? Because you are rude.
The next ten minutes or so are devoted to
showing off the trials and tribulations of rehearsal, and the only important
thing to remember is that time Ginger calls the other team, “Aryan Airlines,”
‘cause it so damn true.
Not the only thing, I guess. Miss Fame has a
pretty interesting moment, too. First she brings out some family photos and
shares a lot about her background and breaks down into tears; it’s a shockingly
real moment for her and makes me want to stand by the idea that she can really
turn this out. Unfortunately, she’s also concerned about performing because she
is used to just modeling. The other team really
digs into her and while she maintains her composure it made me really really want to see her do well. So
Finally, the competitors hit the main stage with
guest judges Jordin Sparks and Olivia Newton-John looking on—that’s a pretty
It turns out that the lip synch flight safety
video is performed live. With a mix of spoken word and sung lyrics, it reads as
a kind of pop-R&B mash-up of wonky, drag-ified instructions. A pretty
hilarious idea if you ask me.
Trixie’s team goes first: it’s pretty dull and
one-note. Katya flubs her opening monologue real bad, Miss Fame is unfortunately not a great performer,
but hey, at least Trixie, Violet, and Pearl are pretty funny!
Ginger’s team is next: much better, but also with a seemingly more interesting track to
work with. Everyone is great, with Sasha Belle as the only true weak link.
Ginger, Kennedy, and Mrs. Kasha Davis are the standouts here.
As if that all weren’t enough, the queens change
backstage and reappear in their best “jet set eleganza” looks: Pearl continues
to slay in the fashion department along with Katya, Trixie, and Violet; Ginger
is less successful in her grecian gown (though she looks beautiful), and I also
find Sasha, Kandy, and Jasmine to be a little dull.
Unsurprisingly, Violet Chachki, Ginger Minj, and
Mrs. Kasha Davis are the top three contestants, praised by the judges for their
comic performances. Sasha Belle, Miss Fame, and Katya are the bottom three
after dropping the ball in the sketches.
And the winner is…
GINGER! Yes. I am so happy for her. She’s
hilarious, positive, and, after this week, we also know that she is very
talented. Well-deserved (as judge Carson Kressley says, “I love the Minj!”),
but how much you wanna bet Violet’s gonna complain again?
The bottom two are: Katya and Sasha Belle. They
are lip synching to Olivia Newton-John’s “Twist of Fate” and from the very
beginning, Katya’s elegance and precision are spot-on. That slow slow slow drop into the splits is only icing
on the cake. Sasha Belle tries valiantly, but the eliminated contestant is…
…Sasha Belle. She was no match for Katya’s lip
synch technique (“I try to pound my vagina into that floor so hard that the
building shakes!”) and she maybe should have left last week. Still, she’s nice,
and props to her for repping the queens from Iowa!
Definitive Ranking of Ru’s Queens (Season 7 Style): For our purposes, the
eliminated queen will be ranked last; everyone else’s spot is fair game! Turn to the next page!
13. Sasha Belle —
She came, she competed, and it was her time to
12. Jasmine Masters —
The look isn’t very polished and her Glamazonian
Airways stewardess just didn’t stand out. She needs to do something, and quick.
11. Kandy Ho’ —
She wasn’t the focus of this week’s episode so I
can’t tell if she’s still mean. She probably is. And she’s kind of lackluster,
so…11 it is.
10. Jaidynn Diore Fierce —
She’s been safe both weeks and she hasn’t wowed
me. She was funny in the sketch this time, but was overshadowed by her
competitors there, and in my rankings.
9. Max —
Max effectively applied his schtick to the
challenge this week, but girl has been safe, indicating that compared to a
Sharon Needles-sized thing, she may
be too blah.
8. Miss Fame —
From the top to the bottom in two episode’s
time. I have her in the middle because I am hoping
she will loosen up; I think the judges want to love her just like I do.
7. Pearl —
She’s been safe both weeks, but her fashion is
on-point and she showed glimmers of humor and personality in the sketch that
weren’t there before. It’s only a matter of time before the judges take notice,
6. Mrs. Kasha Davis —
Hilarious. I definitely underestimated her in
the first week, and I think she can rise to the occasion more often now that
she’s made her mark. Looking forward to seeing more!
5. Trixie Mattel —
She’s got a defined look and personality, and
she was really quite funny in the Glamazonia Airways challenge. Once she hits
the top (hopefully in the next couple weeks), I think she could do very well.
4. Katya —
See above about her look and personality, only
funnier all the time and obviously she didn’t do well this week. Her lip synch
was bomb and now she’s scared: she’s gonna pull out all the stops.
3. Violet Chachki —
It’s hard to argue with two weeks in the top
three. I just wish I liked her. I can’t.
2. Kennedy Davenport —
Pro-fess-ion-al! She’s got the whole package and
was almost certainly near the top three this week. Love everything she is
1. Ginger Minj —
Coming off of a deserved win, I think we will
only see more of Ginger’s great personality and maybe even some hidden talents.
Even if she sticks with what she’s shown, it’ll be loads of fun to see her do