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by Ben Travers
May 30, 2013 3:43 PM
9 Comments
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Watch: Charlie Sheen Changes His Name to Carlos Estevez for 'Machete Kills'

The movie virtually no one is waiting for is almost here. "Machete Kills," the sequel to 2010's box office disappointment and aspiring cult favorite "Machete," somehow earned enough money ($26 million domestic) on a low enough budget (reported at $10.5 million) to merit its existence. That, or writer-director Robert Rodriguez just really, really wanted a sequel to what was originally conceived of as a joke.

Whether or not the original has achieved the uncertifiable status as a cult classic, the latest entry into the Rodriguez grindhouse canon features an equally if not more impressive list of players than its eclectically cast original. Kicking things off with a dramatic reveal of our hero being shot down from a swinging noose (shouldn't he have cut himself down, you know, with a machete?), the trailer then rattles off the most random assortment of movie stars, pop singers, and tabloid celebrities this side of Star magazine. 

First up, we have Rodriguez favorites Jessica Alba and Antonio Banderas — logical enough choices for a the sequel to a Mexploitation flick. Then we start moving down the line from the reasonable to the completely absurd: Michelle Rodriguez (makes sense since she was in the first one), Amber Heard (hot girl, check), Sofia Vergara (hot girl #2, check), Vanessa Hudgeons (someone must have seen "Spring Breakers"), Cuba Gooding Jr. (wait — really?), Demian Bichir (did he forget his Oscar nomination already?), Mel Gibson (WHAT?), Lady Gaga (she's acting now?), and Charlie Sheen. Wait. No. Not Charlie Sheen. Carlos Estevez?

Though Gibson's decision to appear in this rather than "The Expendables 3" deserves a column all to itself, the most alarming aspect of the "Machete Kills" trailer isn't an iconic 80s action star forgoing the opportunity to appear alongside his beefed-up older brethren in a lucrative and insanely fun new franchise. It's that Charlie Sheen has changed his name. Though some may mistake the quick shot to an assault rifle-wielding Carlos Estevez as his character's name, the format indicates it's the actor's name, not his character's. 

So, are you going to give Spanish Charlie a chance? Are you the one eagerly awaiting "Machete Kills?" Which Rodriguez news has you more excited: this or his new market in Fantastic Fest, Fantastic Market|MercadoFantastico? Whatever your answers, make sure to check out the trailer below and look for "Machete Kills" September 13.

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9 Comments

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  • Patricia | May 31, 2013 10:30 AMReply

    Carlos Estevez is Charlie Sheen's real name! his brother is Emilio Esevez, and his father is Ramon Estevez, who changed his name to Martin Sheen. Soooo yeah, get your facts right before trying to be "funny"

  • Hmm | May 31, 2013 10:17 AMReply

    A little snarky, no ?

  • Ned Hinkle | May 30, 2013 6:10 PMReply

    Um, yeah. I'm not a fanboy and I'm not hating on Indiewire for this, but I gotta say I'm a little surprised by the vitriol/sarcasm in this piece. I thought the original was enjoyably over-the-top and I'm looking forward to the sequel - even though it probably can't live up to the first.

    And I'm also a big fan of NWR so I like my action pretentious as well.

    Ned Hinkle
    Programmer
    Brattle Theatre, Cambridge MA

  • Miked | May 31, 2013 12:27 AM

    I'm with Ned Hinkle, the article was hard to read with all the sarcasm.

  • diego | May 30, 2013 5:36 PMReply

    you forgot to mention that Carlos Estevez is Charlie Sheen's real name.

  • Jenkins | May 30, 2013 4:00 PMReply

    Fuck you Indie Wire. Machete was original and hilarious. Did you seriously go in expecting it to be the fucking Godfather?

    It was stupid fun in its satire of United States immigration.

    Go watch a Nicolas Winding Refn film if you're that up-tight.
    And why is it being reported here in the first place? Neither the sequel nor it's predecessor were Indie.

  • spassky | May 30, 2013 4:09 PM

    Oh, that's cute... making a reference to Winding Refn as somehow the complete opposite of Rodriguez... fan boyz, lol

  • Matt | May 30, 2013 3:58 PMReply

    The teaser trailer will probably be the best part of this mess.