By Oliver MacMahon & Melina Gils | Indiewire June 3, 2014 at 3:26PM
Too much of a good thing can be dangerous.
The tragic life of Philip Seymour Hoffman exampled this to T. Tortured by susceptibility
for self-doubt, the incredibly talented star of films such as "Capote," "Charlie
Wilson's War," "Synecdoche, New York," suffered throughout his life, trying wholeheartedly
to find his own path to happiness. In a newly released PBS short, Hoffman is
heard opening up about how sadly nothing was ever enough. Check it out below.
Taken from a 2012 conversation with Simon Critchley at The Rubin Museum of Art, and developed as a part of the Blank on Blank series, the reused audio utilized discusses his family life and tendency to "kill pleasure," making himself "sick"” through indulgence. Hoffman expresses throughout a supreme wisdom and consciousness, revealing the tested questions of his mind with total clarity, "Was I happy? Or was I just not aware?" His responses are all honest and intricate, and cover varied topics, including what drew him to acting and his own deep-rooted nostalgia. He discusses the joy of watching his children, his own childhood memories, the passing of time, and growing old. "I think I'm happy when I'm with them," he says of his three children; but then adds, as his own childhood creeps in, "It awakens a different kind of reflection--your shortcomings, your inadequacies, your incapabilities, your powerlessness, and on and on and on."
"Any great novel is actually drawing a character or narrative in such a way that is so brutally honest," he says, reminding us of the complicated and strongly conflicted characters he has played throughout the years. He talks of the importance of drawing out the darkness in each of us and how he identifies with the source of the misery of the characters he has portrayed. "I'm here, I'm scared," he claims to repeat in meditation, finally closing with how acting in his films has been "Learning how to die and therefore learning how to live."
It's an incredible insight into the psyche of man who is and will be surely missed. Watch below: