The only danger of casting Amy Ryan and Bill Murray is that an American “Toni Erdmann” with those two actors would run the risk of actually being good. Unmissable, even. At the very least, you’d have to entertain the possibility of goodness, and that’s a scary idea.
On the other hand, the argument could be made that such faithful casting would represent an attempt to simply mimic the original, and good luck with that.
Amy Adams radiates the stoic, aggrieved feminist charm that Sandra Hüller brought to the role, and a certain scene from “The Master” suggests that she knows, uh, how to convincingly serve a man his own petit four.
Pacino, for his part, is a lot funnier than he gets credit for — or gives himself credit for. It’d be a treat to watch him play the film’s outgoing, queitly bashful father figure.
America Ferrera shows off her killer comic chops on “Superstore” every week, but it’s been far too long since she’s gotten a movie role worthy of her talents.
Edward James Olmos is one of the world’s favorite gruff and grumpy gentlemen of a certain age, and after watching him grimace his way through years of “Battlestar Galactica,” every impish smile here would crackle across the screen.
In the head-slapping event that the American remake of “Toni Erdmann” is developed as a broad comedy, it might as well be a broad comedy with two brilliant actors in the lead role. Rose Byrne is the single best thing to happen to movies since the cut, and Nathan Lane would have the time of his life as Winfriend. Indeed, the risk there is that he might be allowed to have too much fun for the bittersweet ending to stick. Fortunately, director Gillian Robespierre (just roll with it) will be there to make sure that the studio doesn’t sand off all of the edges.
What if Miss Sloane had a dad who kept interfering with her operatic plan to take down the gun lobby? And what if that dad was the Dude? And what if Jeff Bridges were just allowed to improvise all of his lines or — better yet — if his performance were shot without his knowledge, “Bowfinger” style?
We won’t complain if Denzel Washington wants to spend the rest of his life directing fire-breathing August Wilson adaptations, but the actor hasn’t been in a comedy since “The Bone Collector” (hilarious movie), and it’d be great to see him channel some of that paternal charisma into a wryly funny role like Winfried.
As for the ageless Gabrielle Union, few actresses are so reliable and complete — she went from “Top Five” to “Birth of a Nation” and she was the best part of both movies. She could crush this. Hire Issa Rae to write, Melina Matsoukas to direct, release it over Christmas, and watch the money roll in.
“Fresh Off the Boat” star Constance Wu is one of the funniest people on television. Jackie Chan is Jackie Chan. For anyone who thought that “Toni Erdmann” could have complemented its social consciousness with a touch more Buster Keaton, this pairing could be the answer to your prayers.
Look, we all know that “Toni Erdmann” was just a gussied up ripoff of Steve Miner’s 1994 masterpiece “My Father the Hero,” so why not bring things full circle and right the balance of history by remaking the film with its one true cast? Besides, Katherine Heigl — who could barely stomach Judd Apatow’s crew — would probably love to spend some quality time with Gérard Depardieu. In Russia. Where this movie would obviously take place.
Just imagine Cheech Marin removing the head of Toni Erdmann’s monster costume and clouds of smoke billowing out in all directions as Rosario Dawson stares at him with her arms crossed. The whole thing would be worth it for that scene alone.
Don’t pretend you wouldn’t see this movie. You wouldn’t like it, but you’d see it.
Claire Danes might be an even better fit for the Ines role, but Americans — most of whom think about “Shopgirl” on a daily basis — probably wouldn’t be able to stomach the sight of Steve Martin playing her father.
Sarah Silverman, pictured here in Sundance 2015 movie “I Smile Back,” has tragically underutilized dramatic chops. Larry David, who is somehow not Silverman’s biological father in real life, does not. But if a prosthetic nose could get Steve Carrell an Oscar nomination for “Foxcatcher,” then a giant pair of fake teeth could do the same for David.
I won’t insult your intelligence by acting as though you have to be told why this would obviously be a towering masterpiece.