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Poster of the Week

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    Poster of the Week

    Certainly many of you remember this ditty.

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    Poster of the Week

    The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea, a.k.a. Kris Kristofferson's Enormous Gumby Legs. Those shadow-puppet hands and their disproportionately large digits, those centaur-like calves, that stern Zeus-ish expression: though ostensibly a dreamlike romance (my best guess from the not-subtle "their love will arouse you" promise at the top) with Yellow Submarine overtones, the film could be mistaken for a horror experiment, based on the nightmare-inducing curves of this monstrous pastel one-sheet. Perhaps the best clue comes from the even-creepier-than-those-of-Psycho demands listed in dangerous red at the bottom: "Like the act of love, this...

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    Poster of the Week

    Um....Okay, this is terrifying. I am instantly befuddled and bemused by everything in this poster. The title of the film would lead one to expect a slasher film of some kind, perhaps one with a sense of humor (Rupert Pupkin reconstituted as a serial killer, maybe), but the PG rating; the incandescent smiles of Robby Benson and (let me get my reading glasses) Linda Grovenor (?), with whom Benson apparently shares an arm; and the cheerful guitar-strumming second Robby Benson in the bottom right of the image would seem to indicate otherwise. Then we have the matter of the monkey—the little devil is right out of Romero's Monkey Shines, but blesse...

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    Poster of the Week

    Talk about hangdog: have you ever seen such miserable expressions on actors' faces? Scratch that: on supposedly light and cheerily cartoonish likenesses of actors' faces. This pained, painted one-sheet from what apparently was a series of films in the 1970s (laugh all you want—what do we have now? Goddamned wizard boys) is notable mostly for the sepulchral tone it's lent by its leads. The circus-like excitement of the title font, the ruff-ruff-and-ready ramble of the apparently cash-hungry canines, and the kooky sideways trailer in the back left of the picture all indicate a larf-filled lark, filled with pranks and heists of all sorts to enti...

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    Poster of the Week

    Apparently designed at the high point of Scott Glenn's bid for action-movie immortality (yes... Scott Glenn), this perfunctorily illustrated one-sheet for a forgotten John Frankenheimer film from the Reagan era is clearly meant to pay tribute to the Right Stuff actor's seal-smooth biceps and politel...

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    Poster of the Week

    What would you do?!

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    Poster of the Week

    Hey, want to read? Want to really read something? Got some time on your hands as you're walking past a theater marquee on the way to work, or flipping through the ads in the movie section of your local newspaper? You have an hour or so to spend, right? Fear not if reading this poster leaves you blind as a bat: it's really Frank Langella's voice, rather than his Droopy Dawg visage, that gives this rendition of Dracula its superhuman charge. I'm not entirely sure why it's essential that one is familiar with the real Count Vlad the impaler and the fact that he "had several mistresses who took erotic delight in his cruelty" before actually watch...

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    Poster of the Week

    "They got little hands/Little eyes/They walk around/Tellin' great big lies . . . They got grubby little fingers/And dirty little minds/They're gonna get you every time." Surely, Randy Newman didn't have in mind this poster for William Castle's long forgotten Deliciously Grotesque . . . oops, I mean, sorry, I need my bifocals . . oh, right, Shanks, when he penned his 1977 hit "Short People," but now that I've seen this image I doubt I'll ever be able to separate the two. If there's anything stranger than Newman's endlessly controversial (really?!) ode to all the little people out there, it's certainly this odd bit of business starring none o...

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    Poster of the Week

    Usually, the pairing of Robert Blake and a weapon wouldn't be a case for chuckles. But this poster for the (unheralded?) 1980 (caper?) film Coast to Coast, directed by that Hollywood workhorse (and The Taking of Pelham 123 director) Joseph Sargent, is just a clear shotgun blast of larfs. Put aside the weird plasticine illustrations of Blake (who looks actually more perturbed here than he ever did on trial) and once-upon-a-time comedy mainstay Dyan Cannon (whose stiff, shiny legs would have one initially assume this was a teaser for Mannequin 3), and just take a look at that tagline: "Either way, he'll get it in the end." It's the most ominous...

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    Poster of the Week

    What tot or teenager of a certain generation wasn't tantalized by this naughty number? When I first saw this poster for 1991's sensitively titled Whore (it should come with an explanation point, like Oliver!), I didn't know who the hell Ken Russell was (and I still kind of don't) and Theresa Russell was not that chick from the Nic Roeg movies, but rather that dead-eyed lady from Black Widow and Physical Evidence (not the Kent Jones collection but the low-simmer Burt Reynolds vehicle). With her narcotized come-hither glance, given from that dingy bed seemingly perched in the middle of a back-alley urban wasteland, Whore's whore was a sweet and...

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