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Burnt Offerings

Burnt Offerings

R U Scared yet?

“Let’s anthropomorphize something else!” one Pixar exec said a few years back, to which his associate responded….”Uh, how ’bout cars?” Thus, the latest latest sparklingly lazy Pixar picture was undoubtedly born. Add in some sassy sitcom voices and another heaping pile of gassy pop culture references and bad songs (instead of Shrek‘s “Please, kill me now” use of Smashmouth, here we get “Life Is a Highway,” sung by….that fat blonde guy….Tom something?), and you’ve got another 80 million dollar opening.

Weekend pickins are slim, otherwise, too… may have opened on 6-6-06 (or as it’s more commonly known, TERRIFYING TUESDAY!), but this is still officially The Omen‘s first weekend in release. A remake by the guy who directed Behind Enemy Lines of a tepid 1976 Richard Donner movie headlined by two of the cast members of Michael Almereyda’s incredibly shitty Hamlet update? Color me excited. (But since I know some of us can’t get enough of spooky kids, I have one recommendation to satiate all your horror needs. I just recently rewatched Alejandro Amenabar’s 2001 The Others, and it remains one of the most truly haunting haunted house movies. No small feat in fact: Think of all the movies with creaky floorboards, things that go bump in the night, and cats pouncing out of dark, shadowy corners and consider how fresh Amenabar managed to make them seem again).

Things may seem grim this weekend at the multiplex, but thank God for Altman and one enticing Al Gore power-point presentation….

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