A man in Portland named Allen Heckard has filed an $832-million lawsuit against Nike founder Phil Knight and basketball legend Michael Jordan, because Heckard claims he’s faced “defamation and permanent injury” for supposedly looking too much like the latter. Fox Sports reports (with photos):
Heckard, who stands slightly taller than 6 feet, says many people miss the fact that he is roughly six inches shorter than Jordan. But Heckard bears a physical resemblance to Jordan because he has a shaved head, an earring in his left ear, and is in good physical shape — from playing basketball.
“Even when I go to the gym I’m being accused of playing ball like him (Jordan),” Heckard said. Wouldn’t most people consider that a compliment?
“Yes, don’t get me wrong it’s definitely a positive thing, because Michael, like I say is one of the best ball players that I’ve known to play the game. But then again, that’s Michael and I’m me. So I want to be recognized as me just like Michael’s being recognized as Michael.”
In fake related news, I was – shockingly – laughed out of court when I tried to sue Matthew McConaughey for similar reasons.