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Update on David Zellner’s Sunglasses

Update on David Zellner's Sunglasses

Last night I posted the alert that David Zellner’s sunglasses had gone missing after he visited local restaurant, Vivo. Well, no real leads or tips have surfaced, but I did receive some low-res photos featuring the sunglasses at various spots around town. It’s beginning to appear that (much like that real “runaway bride” recently) perhaps these sunglasses were not stolen but rather escaped a life perched atop David Zellner’s nose for eternity. Here are the photos sent to me, with accompanying captions/descriptions, as they were written by the anonymous source:

“…Feeling a bit down in its newfound freedom, David Zellner’s Sunglasses decided to go shoe-shopping…


“…After that, it was time for David Zellner’s Sunglasses to check out some new flat-screen TVs. The Sunglasses found some great shoe deals, by the way…


“…No TVs met the Sunglasses’ expectations, but then again, it doesn’t have a place to stay. So, looking for a connection, David Zellner’s Sunglasses tried to bond with its own kind. Unfortunately, the brand-new shades were total snobs and did not accept their vintage elder…


“…David Zellner’s Sunglasses called up its best friend, Jesus Christ, and was invited to a fun springtime BBQ. But, the Sunglasses happen to be vegetarian, and an action-figure Jesus was no help at changing any of the meat-based foods on display…


Now, I ask you, does this look like the actions of a pair of sunglasses that were stolen? Hopefully we’ll get more updates and help reunite David Zellner with his beloved shades soon.

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