SXSW mainstay David Cross has posted “An Open Letter to Larry The Cable Guy” on his site (with Mr. Show co-creator Bob Odenkirk). It’s a couple weeks old, but I just came across it today. It’s also fairly long. But, it’s rather entertaining and enlightening, and kinda what you expect from actor/comic Cross. The letter is a response to criticism from comedian Larry The Cable Guy, who criticized Cross and his fans. Here’s an excerpt from the response:
It’s on page 17 of your book wherein you describe how you would “Larry” up your commentaries for radio. What does it mean to “Larry” something up? Take a wild guess. The reason you feel the need to “Larry” something up? Because you are not that dumb. I mean you, Dan Whitney, the guy who’s name the bank account is under. You were born and raised in Nebraska (hardly The South), went to private school and moved to Florida when you were 16. This is when you developed your accent?! Not exactly the developmental years are they?
At age 16 that’s the kind of thing you have to make a concerted effort to adopt. Did you hire a voice coach? Or were you like one of those people who go to England for a week and come back sounding like an extra from “Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels”? As you said yourself in an interview once, “I can pop in and out of it pretty much whenever I want”.
In your book on page 89 you say in reference to the “gee-shucks” millionaire comment, “…see, to his (David’s) mind, bein’ well paid means I’m no longer real and I can’t be a country boy anymore. It’s just an act.” Hey, it’s always been an act! That’s my fucking point! You admit it yourself so cut the indignation shit. And I am in no way deriding your work ethic. You clearly have more fart jokes than most and for that I applaud you.
You go on to talk about how hard you work and life on the road and living on Waffle House and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I get it, we’ve all been there and played shitty, degrading gigs and sacrificed etc, etc. Then you say, “…this (the personal attack) was different because David basically hammered my fans in that RS article by implying that they were ignorant. He crossed the line when he railed against them, so I had to tell ya what I felt about that. He can hammer me all he wants, but when he screwed with my fans, it was time for me to say something.” Aww, that’s so sweet and egregious.
I can’t stand that fan ass kissing bullshit. You and Dane Cook ought to get together and have a “my-fan’s-are- the-greatest-people-on-earth-and-that’s-why-I-do-this” off. You could both sell a shit load of merch too.
Thanks to Kottke, for the heads up.