I’d been meaning to post this since I read it an Entertainment Weekly a few weeks back, but two of their reporters watched all 192 episodes of Full House (at once) and posted a diary on EW.com. Its quite hysterical, and I felt their ambitious efforts deserved to be included after the jump.
Have Mercy! A ‘Full House’ Marathon
Intrepid reporters, er, TV watchers Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher camp out on the couch for a three-day journey through the 192-episode world of the so-bad-it’s-good sitcom
By Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher
In honor of the release of Full House: The Complete Series, EW challenged self-proclaimed champions of unironic television Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher to watch it all in one sitting. That’s eight seasons, 192 episodes, 75 hours. Below, excerpts from their diary.
Day 1, 11:04 a.m., Episode 1
The pilot, in which recently widowed Danny Tanner (Bob Saget) welcomes brother-in-law Jesse (John Stamos) and best friend Joey (Dave Coulier) into his home to help care for his three daughters, surprises us by opening with some genuinely funny moments. Then, six minutes in, Joey does his first Popeye impression.
Day 1, 2:28 p.m., Episode 8
We set up a Gazelle exercise machine purchased solely to offset the long-term health effects of watching television for four days straight. While burning calories, we enjoy a solid season 1 episode in which Jesse and Joey bicker over a mutual love interest, rendered in Rashomon-style flashbacks. Maybe the fatigue is getting to us already. We just compared a Full House episode to a Kurosawa film.
Day 1, 11:01 p.m., Episode 28
When the oldest of the girls, D.J. (Candace Cameron), wins tickets to a Beach Boys concert, the entire band inexplicably arrives at the Tanner household to sing ”Kokomo” in the living room. Brian Wilson looks uncomfortable throughout most of the scene.
Day 2, 4:19-5:53 a.m., Episodes 42-46
The weaker one of us (okay, it’s Joe) nods off, leaving Nick to panic when the DVD suddenly stalls mid-episode. The disc resumes moments later, just in time for the first utterance of baby Michelle’s (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen) catchphrase, ”You got it, dude!” Nick is starting to seriously doubt he can handle two more days of this.
Day 2, 10:28 a.m., Episode 58
The opening theme song is starting to get really irritating. The lyrics pose the question, ”Whatever happened to predictability?” The answer: nothing. Predictability is alive and well on Full House, as in this episode in which Danny feels he’s too uptight and overcompensates by being a slob at a poker game. It is seemingly the umpteenth time that a character has undergone a complete transformation for 20 minutes and then learned to be normal again at the end.
Day 2, 2:21 p.m., Episode 68
When people describe FH as so-bad-it’s-good, they’re thinking of this: Danny hosts a charity telethon. Staff talent-show alert! Joey does stand-up and Jesse rocks out with the Beach Boys’ Mike Love, who mumbles his way through his scene. Stephanie’s (Jodie Sweetin) ”Love Shack” dance routine followed by D.J. singing ”Lollipops & Gummi Bears” might be the most hilariously bad three minutes in the history of TV
Day 2, 5:25 p.m., Episode 76
In this very special episode, D.J. develops an eating disorder and collapses after over-exercising on a treadmill. Soon thereafter, her illness is cured by a gentle lecture from Danny. In our loopy state, all we can learn from this heartwarming interaction is that ”D.J. Tanner” would be a good name for a rapper.
Day 3, 9:21 a.m., Episodes 118-120
The Beach Boys show up again, this time to help Jesse and his band the Rippers record a cover of ”Forever.” The episode concludes with a fully produced 2 1/2-minute video featuring a half-naked John Stamos, a church filled with candles, and creepy superimposed images of Jesse’s newborn twins. The spectacle is enough to cut through our mounting fatigue and numbness… barely.
Day 3, 7:37 p.m., Episode 145
Worn out and almost unable to go on, we are momentarily rescued by four visiting female friends. They grew up watching Full House and have fond memories of the show, down to which obnoxious sweater Stephanie wore in a particular episode. Their insights make us realize that, as sickeningly sweet and annoying as the sitcom often was, it had its heart in the right place and meant a lot to the kids who watched it. Dear God, we must be in worse shape than we thought. We are actually defending Full House.
Day 3, 11:34 p.m., Episode 155
Michelle reports her bike stolen, and the whole family pitches in to find it… until she realizes, 22 minutes later, that she left it at a friend’s house. What could possibly be the lesson here? Don’t forget where you put stuff? After 155 episodes, we still can’t tell which Olsen twin is which in a scene.
Day 4, 1:23 p.m., Episodes 191-192
Groggy and unshowered, we tackle the two-part series finale in which Michelle gets amnesia. (Spoiler alert: She gets her memory back.) We’re proud that we accomplished in three days what it took viewers eight years to do. And to anyone who thinks this is any less of an achievement than running a marathon or climbing Everest, we defy you to stay up for two days — and still make it through the episode where Michelle learns to tie her shoes.
BONUS: Full House Catchphrase-O-Meter!
Catchphrases on Full House were about as ubiquitous as the show is in syndication. Almost every episode featured at least one character spouting his or her signature line to riotous applause. Here’s a by-the-numbers breakdown of those memorable moments throughout the series’ entire 192-episode run:
· ”You’re in big trouble, mister” (Michelle)… uttered 10 times in the series
· ”You got it, dude.” (Michelle)… 167
· ”Cut…it…out! (Joey)… 21
· ”How rude!” (Stephanie)… 27
· ”Have mercy” (Jesse)… 45
· ”Awww” (studio audience, reacting to cuteness)… 66