The Guardian has come up with 10 potential solutions, if the Academy Awards ends up facing the same fate as this month’s cancelled Golden Globes. Some are obvious, and some are inspired. Here’s a sample of their list:
3. The Michel Gondry Oscars
The Academy could take a leaf out of Michel Gondry’s book and produce the Oscars’ equivalent of Be Kind Rewind, the French director’s forthcoming picture in which two video-store clerks accidentally erase every film in the shop and then set about remaking them in their own backyard. Could two versatile impressionists stage an awards show in which they played all the parts, including the “Hollywood legends” who died last year? Might be interesting.
4. The Team America Oscars
Similar to the above, only using the marionettes Matt Stone and Trey Parker created for Team America: World Police. At least an hour could be devoted to recreating the sex scenes between Tony Leung and Wei Tang in Lust, Caution.
5. The WGA Oscars
As a gesture of goodwill, NBC could turn over this year’s telecast to the WGA, which could organise its own Academy awards. Categories would include “most supportive actor”, “biggest Hollywood ally” and “best picture (of a celebrity standing in a picket line)”. Trouble is, George Clooney would win everything going.