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IFC Cannes Cam: Desplechin’s Premiere

IFC Cannes Cam: Desplechin's Premiere

Oh, the pleasures of being a 21st Century cinephile. I just watched IFC’s Cannes Cam coverage of Arnaud Desplechin’s red carpet for Un Conte De Noël, and I know the phrase is cliché, but really, only at Cannes. Wow. It is interesting; When this film has its US Theatrical release, I wonder if any of this will even seem possible? The general indifference of US audiences to foreign films being what it is, it feels refreshing to see something like what just happened at Cannes, well, happen at all. If the reviews are any indication, perhaps it can transcend… Enough of my blathering, let’s watch worlds collide, shall we?

Let’s Get Meta: A screen grab of a screen of a screen! Here is Desplechin on the big screen outside the Palais de Cinema (still the best place on earth to see a film). And here am I, breaking the cardinal rule of screen grabbing by forgetting to move the cursor out of the way!

Ok, so IFC’s Matt Singer identified this as Star Jones on camera, but I (not following the ups and downs of celebrity diets, plastic surgery, Television show departures and strange NBA rumors) have no idea if it is Star or not. I assume it is, which makes this (along with the second appearance of my cursor in a screen shot) one of the most baffling red carpet moments I have seen in my life. Or hey, who am I to judge? Maybe Star Jones likes Arnaud Desplechin, in which case, Star, CALL ME…

Back to cinematic reality, are there two more goregous people on earth than Chiara Mastroianni and Melvil Poupaud? I don’t think so. These two actors represent for me what the Cannes red carpet is about; beautiful European actors in an art film, dressed to the nines, radiating an almost aristocratic vibe. Immediately after I grabbed this shot from the Cannes Cam, agents from The Back Row Manifesto kidnapped the pair in order that I may clone a race of super humans back here in Brooklyn. Stay tuned.

Here, Desplechin accepts the greeting of festival head Gilles Jacob while Catherine Deneuve raditaes in royal purple.

And of course, no screening of a Desplechin film would be complete without The Muscles from Brussels himself, Belgian martial arts star Jean-Claude Van Damme. Few may have read Van Damme’s treatise on Léo: Playing In The Company Of Men, but it is an essential piece of film scholarship which… ok, I’ll let that joke die. Anyway, Van Damme is in Cannes to promote a mockumentary about his life called JCVD; I asumme he’s furious at the Chuck Norris meme which has dominated hip American advertising for the past few years and believes it’s time for the Belgian master to stake his claim to the throne of the ridiculous. That or he’s buddies with fellow Belgians the Dardenne Brothers and is here to sniff out the competition. Either way, I’ll use his appearance as an excuse to share this unforgettable moment from Kickboxer, one which continues to cause major Van Dammage to my soul…

And here we have Jury President Sean Penn arriving with Bono and what appears to be, and someone correct me if I’m wrong, Hélène de Fougerolles. Rock stars at Cannes are nothing new, but again, exciting to see this convergence of people at Desplechin’s film premiere. I wonder who snuck by that I didn’t catch (aside from Mathieu Amalric and Emmanuelle Devos). Either way, I am home on a rainy Brooklyn afternoon, with my eyes on the South of France, hoping that one day I can return… C’est la vie…

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