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“9 Years Old, 6 Parades”

"9 Years Old, 6 Parades"

Oh, shut up! Anyone else out there see that photo of the little kid holding up the sign during the Boston Celtics victory parade? How goddamn spoiled have Boston sports fans become in this decade alone? Three Patriots Super Bowls, two Red Sox World Series sweeps, and now a Celtics beat-down of the should-be-embarrassed Lakers. A whole new generation of New England children have barely even experienced the agony of defeat (thanks Eli and the Giants), and will have no concept what it means to have your dreams crushed as a devoted fan, over and over again, from one season to the next.

While I’m thankful not to be a Cubs fan, the track record for my favorite teams in all four major sports is an ugly one: Chicago Blackhawks – last won the Stanley Cup in 1960-61, before I was even a fan (I was only 3 at the time), and have lost in the finals four times since; Orlando Magic – swept by the Houston Rockets in 1995, their only finals appearance to date; Minnesota Vikings – Ugh! four (count ’em, four) Super Bowl losses in the 1970s, no victories, and haven’t made it back since; and my Minnesota Twins – World Series champs in 1987 and 1991, but it has been 17 years now (and counting…)

So if you hear any New Englanders whining about their Bruins or college teams, just smack ’em. The problem for the rest of us is the Patriots, Celtics, and Red Sox all look like title contenders for years to come…unfortunately.


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