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Thesis Pieces

Thesis Pieces

I’m about to go hand in my first full draft of my ever-gestating thesis, after two post-Cannes weeks of pretty much nonstop hell (though obviously I’ve stopped enough to waste my time on this blog, so thats an exaggeration). The process isn’t entirely over yet, there’s one more edit in July and then my actual defense (think American Idol except with academia) on August 26th. But for the most part, it’s over. And instead of giving it one final read through, I just spent an hour coming up with thesis-related “statistics”:

Abandoned topics before actually choosing this one: 4

Days of research in preparation of writing it: approximately 75

Days since I started actually writing it: 96

Pages: 117

Words: 28,943

Cities it was written in: 6 (Montreal, Toronto, Trenton, Atlanta, New York, Cannes, though Cannes was literally one sentence the day I got there, and I also did some Advil-PM influenced editing – that was later revoked – somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean).

Estimated cigarettes smoked during the process: 1,176 (I’m as disgusted by that as you are)

Estimated eggs eaten during the process, as I was told that this an effective “writing food”: 156

Yoga classes taken to keep me sane: 71

Episodes of The Wire watched: 60

Times drunk, despite my initial “no drunk during thesis rule”: 10

Meetings of the “thesis club,” an organized effort between 5 of my co-pupils to try and give the process structure: 9

Meetings of the “thesis club” in which there was considerably more discussion of The Wire than anything thesis related: 5

Meetings of the “thesis club” that resulted in getting drunk instead of talking about the thesis: 3

Library books taken out: 52

Fines resulting from not properly returning them: $176.25

Books bought off Amazon.com in which imperative sections were photocopied and then the books returned for refunds: 9

Times I yelled at my laptop as if it were a person: 500+

Times I threatened to drop out to either my parents or university faculty: 4

How I celebrated finishing the conclusion: taking a sleeping pill and watching a illegal download of Then She Found Me

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