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Soft Core “Blood”

Soft Core "Blood"

I was really pumped for Alan Ball‘s new HBO series True Blood. Two of my all-time faves are Buffy and Six Feet Under, and I figured how could I go wrong with a show that is kinda like those two shows in a blender? However, three episodes in and I’m very unconvinced. Beyond finding it boring (despite Ball calling it “popcorn television” on NPR), I feel like – as many critics have noted – that Ball is laying on the metaphor a bit thick (even if – as he has said – its not about the gays but about his upbringing).

“Blood” feels uninspired and conventional, and though I’m willing it to give it a whole season of try-out (I owe Ball that after 6FU), I’m growing exceedingly certain its not gonna pull itself together. I’m not laughing, I’m not scared, I’m not thinking, and I’m not at all sold on most of the characters, which are so far coming across as a bunch of stereotypes (but it is very nice to see Frank Sobotka Chris Bauer getting work).

Worse is that the Anna Paquin-Vampire love thing is way too Buffy-Angel (out of place young girl with special powers meets hunky vamp who wants to be good and most people around her are worried?), and makes me just want to watch reruns of the vampire show that did it right.

By the end of the third episode, I’m truly beginning to wonder if Ball used his muscle at HBO because he wanted an excuse to order around hot, shirtless men all day. Though I’m not necessarily complaining (its probably its best asset)… the following stills from the episode pretty much prove my point:

I think Ball should just throw in the towel(head) and start making porn.

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