[spoilers ahead….if you care about having a piece of already spoiled dog-crap spoiled for you….]
MK: Subject heading: “Revolutionary Road is the best movie of the year.”
Made ya look! OMG that was bad. So bad.
Andrew, I can’t believe I’m saying this, because your piece was full of warranted vitriol, but:
You were too nice!
AT: Now I feel ashamed.
MK: No mention of that last shot! THAT LAST SHOT!!!!!!!
AT: There are many who will build upon my work. I have laid the foundation. I leave it to my heirs. This movie will be forgotten in 12 days.
MK: Unless Kate wins the Oscar. But it will be on Reverse Shot’s upcoming 11 Offenses of 2008.
AT: Well, then those two crazy kids have finally found out where they really belong. Adam tells me you like Michael Shannon in the film. This is a mistake. And my Shannon love is long-standing.
MK: I do. I was longing for him all the time, despite the bad dialogue and direction of the character. Funniest scene: Kate and Leo in the kitchen after meeting Crazy-balls Shannon:
“Isn’t it weird how the only person we can relate to is insane?”
“I know….it’s like we’re crazy ourselves, or something.”
AT: “It was like the first time I went up to the front.”
“I felt like that once too.”
“The first time you made love to me.”
MK: “You’re the most beautiful thing in the world….. a man!”
AT: Dammit, forgot that one – it’s been a while.
“You know who I really feel sorry for? That kid. [You should totally abort it.]” [deleted line]
MK: “Good morning, darling. Yes, I am making eggs. Would you happen to like some? Oh, good, i will have some too. Oh my that napkin drawing is very interesting, isn’t it? What? I’m acting all weird and strange like today I might kill myself? Why ever would you say that? Here, let me eat eggs with you and then I shall say goodbye in an ethereal, completely inhuman way, because I am a bad, inhuman woman who will soon do the unthinkable. Oh yes, dear, I love you, too. Okay, have a wonderful day. I think I shall go use my abortion tubing now that I keep upstairs on top of the towels on the first shelf you see when you open the door in a paper bag that I apparently got from the pharmacy. Yes, have a lovely day.”
AT: Except that we’re never supposed to think that she’s bad and inhuman, because it’s all the lousy man’s fault (which is even more condescending towards women in this instance).
MK: As the last shot proves, all you have to do is turn down the volume and those shrieking harpies will finally shut up. Have some solace in that.
AT: Of course! Thank you Sam Mendes.
Still my favorite line – after the play at the beginning:
“Well, thank God that’s over! And she was very disappointing.”
MK: Yes, one of many awkwardly ADR’d moments. And why did every character talk like Robo-boy David from A.I.: in the 1950s, apparently they hadn’t invented contractions?
AT: Remember Dylan Baker? I couldn’t even begin to explain in the review what the fuck that was all about. British? Gay? Both? Neither?
MK: We all had the same conversation last night. I think “monumentally fey” is what I came up with. It made Philip Seymour Hoffman in The Talented Mr. Ripley seem the embodiment of discretion.
How about Shep and his wife? More great casting and subtle work, there. She seems to have been directed to act like a loping circus seal.
AT: I was trying to figure out who she was all the way through – she was Applegate’s work buddy in Anchorman, and gave the following unforgettable line:
“Ron Burgundy will read anything that is on that teleprompter. And by ‘anything,’ I mean ehn-nya-thyan.” (It’s all in the delivery.)
MK: In Anchorman Will Ferrell tells a woman he’s going to punch her in her ovaries. And Anchorman is less misogynistic than Revolutionary Road.