I’ve decided to spend two post-Sundance weeks hibernating at my mother’s house, attempting to relieve my body of the stress the Park City lifestyle placed on it by finally doing The Master Cleanse. I’ve been wanting to try it for a long while, but never really was given 10 full days where I’d be free enough from temptation to actually stand a chance. This, according to wikipedia, is the cleanse in brief:
The Master Cleanse claims to be a way to cleanse the body of toxins and remove the cravings associated with drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and eating junk food. “Coffee, tea, and various cola drinks, as habit-forming beverages, also lose their appeal through the marvels of the lemonade diet.” The cleanse involves drinking only lemonade made from fresh lemon or lime juice, Grade B maple syrup, water and Cayenne pepper. No solid food is eaten for the entire cleanse. The master cleanse is technically not a “fast” and proponents say it is more gentle on the body because it does contain some essential vitamins and minerals. According to proponents it is recommended to be on the cleanse for a minimum of ten days, but some people stay on the cleanse for longer periods of time, even as long as 45 days.
Since there is no intake of solid food, special precautions are taken to avoid constipation. Senna tea is taken every night, and in the morning warm saline is required. This passes through the digestive system extremely quickly, usually causing defecation in 30-60 minutes. It is essential to go off of the cleanse slowly. The lack of solid foods for such long periods requires careful breaking, as gut flora need to re-develop and mucus linings re-build. This usually involves drinking “full strength” juices for a day or two, while slowly adding in soups, then fruit, vegetables and nuts before resuming a regular diet. Some individuals have returned to their healthy diet the following day after stopping the program without any problems, but this is rare and not recommended, especially for first timers.
I’m trying to treat it like a science experiment, but fuck am I ever hungry. And you can’t smoke on it either.
And I know there’s a lot of skeptics out there… I’m still somewhat skeptical myself. But we’ll see in 9 days (if, of course, I make it), whether or not the cleanse’s proponents (many of whom are friends who’ve successfully lived to tell about it, and have nothing but good things to say) are full of shit. I, on the other hand, am not full of anything right now.