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Don’t Talk Shit About Britney Spears

Don't Talk Shit About Britney Spears

Yesterday, in what I’ll admit was lazy blogging (and an attempt to boost traffic, as Google News now erroneously includes this blog in its search engine), I wrote a wee entry about Britney Spears that you can see if you just scroll down a dozen centimeters. It led to a surge (relatively, at least) of commenters – most of whom I assume found this blog via google and had never been, nor will ever go again – that were really fucking pissed off I talked shit about Ms. Spears. These folks are intense:

To top it off, someone actually e-mailed me to tell me off, noting:

Now, don’t get me wrong… I found it all quite entertaining. But I do want to make clear that I never really said I didn’t like her. I just said she’s a slut in her videos and can’t sing or dance (at least not today). But as “sean” said, “shes an icon and circus is amazing go see her show and tell me you dont like her.” If I were to go to Britney’s show – which I would totally be up for if it didn’t cost $200 (or $50 for that matter) – I’m sure I’d thoroughly enjoy myself. But I’d still think she’s a slut, and I’d still think she can’t sing or dance. Most of the commenters even seemed to agree with me on all three fronts. So I don’t understand why all these dudes got their panties in such a wad. I don’t think there’s anything WRONG with her being slutty. And I don’t blame her anyway. She has nothing to do with the construction of her image.

So to respond to F U C K * OFF’s poignant defense of “Briney” (“your article’s completly shit shows how much of a hater even u are if your gonna name your shitty site indiewire then stick to artists who are indie and not someone like briney because if you dont have anything good to write about her then dont write everything bad about her fkn lame ass post!!!”), I’ll offer some truths about my relationship with Britney Spears to make good with the intensely defensive and grammatically challenged Britney Spears fan club: I’ve probably listened to her more than any other artist while in a gym; I’ve illegally downloaded all of her albums, and have privately danced to the majority of her singles, perhaps even lipsyncing; I’ve fantasized about dressing up as her for Hallowe’en; and I had the cover of the New York Daily News when she was featured, bald and armed with umbrella, on my fridge – when I had one – for over a year.

So from one slut who can’t sing or dance to another, I won’t talk shit about you again, Ms. Spears. Mostly because your fans are illiterate nutjobs that take you way too seriously.

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