by Christopher Campbell
Before even seeing “District 9”, we had a feeling there’d be at least a hint of human-alien sex, because science fiction, smart or dumb, has always had a fascination with the idea of inter-species love. And while bestiality may still be a taboo subject for Hollywood, the movies are always okay with the interplanetary variety, probably because it’s (usually) more consensual.
The aliens in “District 9” are not sexy, though (not to us, anyway). They look like, and are derogatorily called, Prawns. So there are no apparent romances between these creatures and humans. But there is a reference to Nigerian prostitutes selling sex to the prawns, and there’s also sort of a depiction of a man and a prawn going at it “doggy style.”
While human-alien sex is commonly found in outer-space tales, such as “Star Trek,” we decided to look primarily at examples of visitors to Earth getting it on with the locals, similar to international sexcations that occur in the real world. Of course, because we’re not too familiar with sci-fi porn, there are likely a few good sex scenes we’ve left out. Feel free to tell us about them (if you’re not embarrassed) in the comments section.
Steve Guttenberg Gets a Burst of Sex, in “Cocoon” (1985)
Any man would love to get physical with an alien that looks like Tahnee Welch, but unfortunately her character’s species doesn’t have sex the way humans do. Still, Steve Guttenberg looks pretty satisfied with the way she does it to him, apparently tossing a burst of light and energy, or something, at his chest. The only problem is it’s clearly one-sided. Then again, we never do find out if what we’ve seen is just foreplay.
Kim Basinger Learns About Sex, in “My Stepmother is an Alien” (1988)
If your mission calls for you to travel to Earth and marry a human, naturally you’re going to be expected to consummate the marriage. Fortunately for Kim Basinger’s sexually ignorant alien, her purse-dwelling, phallic-looking companion can project instructional films and dispense “Debbie Does Dallas” videotapes. In no time, Basinger is a an expert on the subject, or at least in the ways of turning on hubby Dan Aykroyd — and probably way too many young boys in the audience of this seemingly family friendly PG-13 movie. The scene cuts just before the actual sex begins, but it may as well have kept going. It couldn’t have gotten anymore explicit than this. And we’re pretty sure Aykroyd has already come by the end of this clip, anyway.
Geek Loses Virginity to Evil Alien, in “Evil Aliens” (2005)
We like this sex scene because it makes us think of all those fanboys at Comic-Con who’d likely have sex with an alien, even one as disgusting and evil as the one here. They’d probably even do the Queen from “Aliens”, and the Predator, and the thing from “Mac and Me”. Because not only would they finally get to finally lose their virginity, they’d also become the envy of all their fanboy friends. Then they’d wear a crown and act all superior like Ken Jeong in “Role Models”.
Natasha Henstridge Finally Loses Her Virginity, in Species (1995)
Some fans of the continued Species franchise might prefer the first sequel’s sex scene involving tentacles coming out of Natasha Henstridge’s nipples, but for us it’s all about the first film’s ultimate copulation, in which the alien-human hybrid (made from transmitted DNA instructions) succeeds in fooling future Doc Octopus Alfred Molina into impregnating her. It’s a pretty straight sex scene, save for the protruding back fins and the post-coital murder. See, throughout the film, we actually want the seemingly evil alien to succeed, probably because we’ve empathized with her ever since she was a young, confused experiment played by Michelle Williams in her first film role. It’s not her fault her nature is so lethal, you know? Besides, if Molina’s character has trouble recognizing her just because she’s changed her hairstyle and color, and he’s so eager to bed a stranger when he should be more wary, he probably deserves to die/father an extra-terrestrial offspring.
Geena Davis Gives In to Shaved Jeff Goldblum, in Earth Girls Are Easy (1989)
When the aliens from this movie first arrive on Earth, they aren’t all that sexually appealing. But once they shave their fluorescent, furry exteriors they’re miraculously as human looking as can be. Enough that Geena Davis is easily attracted to the formerly blue Jeff Goldblum (the two had previously had a sort of interspecies affair in The Fly). But she is hesitant until she sees that a man from outer space is anatomically compatible with a girl from the valley. While the actual sex scene is really cheesy and resembles late-80s soft-core porn with its colorful cinematography and glitter, Davis is great in her doubtful sequence just prior to doing the deed, and her artsy post-sex nightmare, in which she initially regrets what she’s done is plenty fun, too.
Steve Vincent Thinks Earth Girls Are Ugly, in Space-Thing (1968)
This single outer space sex scene is given the exception because it’s so amazing. And we’ve never even seen the sexploitation flick it comes from (we only saw the clip here, where you can also see the Evil Aliens scene). Also, it has a neat inverse situation to the scene from Earth Girls Are Easy, in that an alien in the form of a man is doubtful and hesitant to go to bed with one of the female crewmembers of the S.S. Supreme Erection, because he thinks humans have ugly bodies. Throw in some terrific ‘60s music and ingenious narration (“I think she wants something of me”) and what more could you ask for? It’s hard to understand how io9.com considers this scene “embarrassing.”
David Bowie Shoots Blanks, in The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976)
Leave it to Nicolas Roeg to give us some of the most artsy human-alien sex scenes of all time, and leave it to David Bowie to be in the strangest. Bowie is the glam-looking alien who falls into obsessions with alcohol and television with his human lover, played by Candy Clark. Honestly, we really have a strange love for the cat-eyed true-form Bowie in an earlier sex scene montage involving what looks like playful mud wrestling. But this is the more insane and notorious sex scene, and though we don’t like thinking of shooting blanks and sex at the same time, the guns and lovemaking scene is pretty awesome in a ridiculous, John Waters-esque kind of way. Speaking of which, why hasn’t Waters done a human-alien sex scene yet?
Starman Gave Karen Allen a Baby Last Night, in Starman (1984)
It’s one thing for an alien to look human, but when it looks like your dead husband, there’s even more difficulty of resisting the urge to try out a very close encounter. Not that Karen Allen is quick to jump Jeff Bridges’ Starman bones. Aside from the fact that he’s an extra-terrestrial and the fact that sex with a clone of your husband is a bit too close to necrophilia, the Starman is really weird. Eventually, though, Allen’s character falls for the doppelganger and makes love to it in the very romantic setting of a boxcar filled with hay. The best part comes afterward, though, when the Starman nonchalantly tells her, “I gave you a baby last night.”
Woman Discovers She’s Screwing an Alien, in They Live (1988)
John Carpenter makes the top spot, as well, for this very different human-alien sex scene that closes out his cult sci-fi flick. Hopefully this isn’t a spoiler for anyone, but at the end of the movie, Roddy Piper disables a broadcast signal that makes the alien invaders look human. Following this, we see a short montage in which these creepy-looking aliens are suddenly revealed as such to the people around them. The final shot is the most hilarious, though, as it involves a woman having sex with what she thinks is a man. She looks down and sees she’s straddling an alien, who gets the film’s last line: “Hey, what’s wrong, baby?”