Hey, want to read? Want to really read something? Got some time on your hands as you’re walking past a theater marquee on the way to work, or flipping through the ads in the movie section of your local newspaper? You have an hour or so to spend, right? Fear not if reading this poster leaves you blind as a bat: it’s really Frank Langella’s voice, rather than his Droopy Dawg visage, that gives this rendition of Dracula its superhuman charge. I’m not entirely sure why it’s essential that one is familiar with the real Count Vlad the impaler and the fact that he “had several mistresses who took erotic delight in his cruelty” before actually watching this umpteenth version of Dracula (come on, Universal, ever heard of show, not tell? or rather, show, not provide inordinate amounts of pre-screening text about?). All I do know is that this is a surprisingly nice respite from all those perplexingly image-oriented movie posters that seem to permeate the landscape. Hell, yeah, Universal, something for the readers out there to really sink their fangs into. I, for one, am glad to know before spending my hard earned two 1979 dollars that “Dracula has his limitations.” What a relief. Knowledge is the best weapon after all.
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