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The Man Who Could Not Be Mayor

The Man Who Could Not Be Mayor

Like Toronto, my hometown of Trenton, Ontario is also having their municipal elections. You actually may have all of a sudden heard of Trenton since its been making international news as of late for being the center of one of the most horrific crimes in recent Canadian history. Even so, I highly doubt you’ve heard of Claude’or Roland du-Lude, who is the only person running against incumbent mayor John Williams in today’s election. du-Lude has run in every municipal election since 1991, rarely getting more than 100 votes. He also – for the first 17 years of my life – lived across the street from me. Unapologetically French with a gigantic moustache, bizarre stories and an iconic unicycle he’d ride around town – whether in campaigning for the election or simply getting from point A to point B. He was something out of a sitcom for us to have around as kids. He’d stop by asking to borrow vacuum cleaners or humidifiers or lawnmowers and then never gave them back. He’d ramble on about girlfriends that lived in some made-up sounding place in France, and occasionally completely disappear for four or five months and then return in full force as if nothing had ever happened. And he’d always genuinely believe the next election was his to win – even if he got 45 votes the last time around, and even by running on bizarre platforms like remarkably extensive and unnecessary public transit systems in a town of about 15,000 people.

Anyway, I was nostalgically overjoyed to find out he was running again his year, and considering his sole opponent – John Williams – used to own the Holiday Inn I worked at as a teenager, handing me a measly bonus cheque at the Christmas party every year and coming across as a total douchebag, I have no issue giving a wholehearted Lost Boy endorsement to the election campaign of Claude’or Roland du-Lude. Considering the rough, serial killer-tinged year Trenton just had, it could use a few more moustaches and unicycles.

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