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Watch: Announcement Trailer For ‘Transformers 3’ Has Lens Flare, Clanking Noises & Lame Backstory

Watch: Announcement Trailer For 'Transformers 3' Has Lens Flare, Clanking Noises & Lame Backstory

So, when is a teaser trailer not a teaser trailer? When it’s an ANNOUNCEMENT TRAILER. That’s right fools, Michael Bay plays by his rules and he’s not gonna call the first trailer for “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” something sissy like a “teaser trailer.” Sounds like the name of a backwoods brothel or something that only dorks and losers who’ve never felt up a girl in the backseat of a Camaro would think of.

So even though we don’t get a single glimpse of the cast that includes Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Alan Tudyk, Ken Jeong, Patrick Dempsey and John Malkovich, don’t worry, Michael Bay wants to make sure audiences fully understand the riveting and complex backstory for his upcoming sequel. You see, America went to the moon….and when they were there they found something….NOT FROM THIS WORLD. Uh ohs! Clang clang! Lens flare! Loud music! Woo! America! Actually, it’s probably a pretty good summary of the movie to come.

Anyway, Michael Bay is gonna pimp those robots in 3D son, so you better come correct and pay attention. “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” hits theaters on July 1. Sissies not admitted (unless you bring your hot, Victoria’s Secret-built sister). Watch the trailer after the jump or in skullfucking HD at Apple.

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