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Declarations of Love, Geek Romance and More Valentine’s Day Movie Discussion Fodder

Declarations of Love, Geek Romance and More Valentine's Day Movie Discussion Fodder

– Above you’ll find posters for ten movies you probably won’t be watching today, unless it’s by mistake. The one titled “1st Furry Valentine” might be the worst bet. Not sure. And now, here’s an all-Valentine’s Day themed link roundup:

– Matt Zoller Seitz at Salon looks at a ‘Cinema’s great declarations of love.’ Included are moments from “Chasing Amy,” Hitchcock’s “Notorious,” “Top Secret” and one of my personal faves, the violent exchange from “Punch-Drunk Love.” Here’s part of his thoughts on “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy”:

Attraction is science, too — and to its credit, when this Alpha Male and Alpha Female finally hook up, “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” doesn’t settle for the usual soft-focus slap-and-tickle, but instead pictures their union as a psychedelic dream sequence in which Ron and Veronica frolic through animated vistas like R-rated versions of a Disney cartoon couple. Clad in matching white outfits, they soar through the night sky on unicorns. “I friggin’ love you!” Ron shouts. “I friggin’ love you more!” Veronica shouts back.

– Vanity Fair has a slide show of ‘Hollywood’s Legendary On-Screen Couples.’ Some are obvious, like Tracy & Hepburn and Bogie & Bacall, but you might not expect the not-so-legendary Smith & Mendes from “Hitch.” Or how about Ryder & Slater in “Heathers”?

The fourth wheel of Westerburg High School’s clique takes up with the new guy—and he’s lethal. Christian Slater’s gravelly voice and Winona Ryder’s fresh-faced looks combined for one hot on-screen couple—and in 2007 Slater said Ryder was still “the girl of my dreams.” From Cinemarque – New World/The Kobal Collection.

– Above is a Valentine-themed addition to FilmDrunk’s “Inventor Steven” meme, via FilmDrunk.

Also from FilmDrunk comes this video of ‘Cinema’s Most Disturbing Smooches.’ Full of incest, necrophilia, bestiality, etc.:

– Alison Nastasi at Cinematical on Valentine’s ideas for geek lovers. Including items related to “Star Wars,” Batman and James Bond. “For the Geek Who’s Sweet”:

Be the Keymaster to their Gatekeeper by winning them over with these tasty, caffeinated Stay Puft marshmallows à la ‘Ghostbusters.’ Get sticky for Gozer and feed your sweetie the gooey remnants of an obese, lumbering paranormal entity. This is where I’d like to make a dirty joke about Slimer, but I really love my job.

– And if you’re not a geek but can’t get laid, Simon Gallagher at Obsessed With Film recommends at least seeking one out. From his list of ‘The Love Lessons of Movie Romances – Or Scoring Chicks, Celluloid Style’:

Dating during high-school can be a mine-field, and as a guy, the options are limited thanks to every hot girl’s incredibly annoying desire to date someone older and less awkward and sweaty (see Grease 2) but fear not fellas, love can come from the least likely of places- band-camp (a la American Pie) or the art class as in She’s All That (curious how cultured= dorky in the film universe). Even if she’s wearing glasses, or Heaven forfend doesn’t wear a push-up bra, the school geek is just one make-over away from you discovering that you actually love her for what’s under the surface- but obviously not enough for her to go back to the sweaters and jam-jars eh?

On the male side of things, there’s even less to worry about. Look at the films of Michael Cera and Seth Rogen. Those guys are Grade A dorks, and yet they seem to be perpetually fighting off insanely hot girls like Kat Dennings and Katherine Heigl. So break out the comic books and thermos- it’s time to go fishing!

Letters of Note shares a ridiculous love letter from Marlon Brando to a flight attendant he encountered on a flight in 1966. Via Movieline, here is part of it:

Dear Lady —

There is something not quite definable in your face — something lovely, not pretty in a conventionally thought of way. You have something graceful and tender and feminine (sp). You seem to be a woman who has been loved in her childhood, or else, somehow by the mystery of genetic phenomena you have been visited by the gifts of refinement, dignity and poise. Perhaps you cannot be accredited with all that.

– NYC’s Anthology Film Archives is screening 9 love-inspired short films this evening. Bad Lit looks at the highlights of the event and shares the following excerpt from Jodie Mack’s animated film “Yard Work is Hard Work”:

Yard Work is Hard Work (excerpt, 2008) from jodie mack on Vimeo.

– Kenji Fujishima at My Life, 24 Frames Per Second analyzes a romantic moment from Wong Kar-Wai’s “2046,” with screenshots and comparison to Godard’s “Breathless.” From his intro:

this year, my Wong-geared thoughts turn to a particularly intoxicating moment of actual action in his summary epic 2046 (2004). It comes late in the film, as Chow Mo-wan (Tony Leung) says good-bye to the mysterious “Black Spider” (Gong Li) who also has the name of Su Li-zhen, the woman he loved and lost in Wong’s previous film In the Mood for Love (2001). This second Su Li-zhen, much like Chow, carries a haunted past that she never reveals to him, but which Chow intuits based as much on his own personal experiences as from her actual elusive behavior. And Chow, ever the lady-killer that he is throughout the shifting chronology and layering of fantasy and reality in 2046, decides that maybe it’s best to leave the second Su Li-zhen, lest he keep thinking of the first Su whenever he sees her.

What a send-off Chow gives her!

– Pat Hroncich at The Huffington Post lists ‘The 13 Cheesiest Lines From Romantic Comedies,’ including expected picks from “Jerry Maguire” and “Notting Hill” and, oh look there’s the legendary “Hitch” again:

“Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away.” – Hitch (Will Smith) in “Hitch”

– Billy Mernit at Living the Romantic Comedy responds by offering his own pick for cheesiest line:

The HuffPo’s Pat Hroncich has limited said list to comedies, but for the record, my nominee for the all-time worst line from a romantic movie has got to be, obviously, Love Story’s immortal “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” In what alternate universe, dude? If you’re romancing your date with lines as wince-worthy as any one on Hroncich’s list, a convincing apology will be only the first vital necessary step towards makin’ the lovin’ happen.

– The ‘For the Love of Film (Noir) Film Preservation Blogathon’ begins today. Stay tuned for many doting posts on the genre throughout the week.

– Joanna Robinson and The Ladies of Pajiba suggest you ‘Let These 7 Men Show You How to Win Valentine’s Day.’ Love the “Labyrinth” item:

Jareth the Goblin King —“Labyrinth”
My freshman year of undergrad my roommate and I had a monthly ritual. We would order a medium pizza with black olives and cheesesticks with ranch sauce and sit down and re-watch Labyrinth. And at the end we would almost always end up yelling at the screen because that idiot Sarah chose her baby half-brother (not even a whole brother!) over David Bowie in tight pants. Really, that’s all I need out of a romantic movie hero: that he be played by David Bowie in tight pants. The magic kingdom and ability to stop time and juggle glass balls (what else can you do with those nimble fingers, Jareth?) are just icing on the cake. He promises to be her slave and give her anything she wants if she just agrees to stay with him and love him. I would totally let Jareth have my little brother for that life (sorry James).—Dr. Pisaster

– Christopher Rosen at Movieline quotes filmmaker Luke Matheny, Oscar-nominated for his new short “God of Love,” on his must-see Valentine’s movies, which include “Joe vs. the Volcano,” “Paris Blues,” “Miracle of Morgan’s Creek” and “The Bodyguard.” On the last:

Luke says: “By the time this movie came out, Whitney Huston had been so omnipresent for so long that I barely noticed her, and completely took her for granted. I rediscovered the movie a few years ago, and it turns out that she actually is amazing. Her diva thing works well with Kevin Costner’s introversion, and they get to fall in love against the backdrop of a pretty compelling — if familiar — thriller plot. This movie is the No. 1 guilty pleasure for me and my girlfriend. I recommend re-enacting the bizarre samurai-sword scene with someone you love.

– Kristy Puchko at The Film Stage lists ‘Valentine’s Day Movie Picks: For Lovers and Haters.’ Two options from the former category:

The Princess Bride {1987}

Rob Reiner’s beloved fairy tale has a charming love story and so much more: pirates, princesses, giants, R.O.U.S.es, a six-fingered villain, and a pre-Wonder Years Fred Savage! To want more from a Valentine’s Day feature is inconceivable!

Secretary {2002}

Okay, to be totally honest – there is one thing The Princess Bride doesn’t have: sex. If you’re looking for something more salacious, try Maggie Gyllenhaal’s racy ode to BDSM-imbrued romance. Gyllenhaal plays an introverted young woman who comes out of her shell when her boss’s domineering behavior opens her up to a different side of desire.

WARNING: May be a bit intense for a first date.

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