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Spout About: How to Do “Twins 2”; “Avengers” is a Ponzi Scheme; Real Mothers Adapted for Film

Spout About: How to Do "Twins 2"; "Avengers" is a Ponzi Scheme; Real Mothers Adapted for Film

While I don’t think it anything but a bad rumor, I am quite curious about the “Twins 2” buzz circulating around the blogosphere (originating at Hollywood Insider). It really is an awful idea and would likely just end up either a “Grumpy Old Twins” or “Twins Too” concept, the latter involving a new generation of separated siblings. Yet I see some potential for an interesting sequel that’s possibly smarter and funnier than the original if done right. Let’s not forget the first film had that terrible action subplot with the stolen fuel injector thingy MacGuffin. So you can’t get much worse.

One way to do it is a Shakespeare-inspired negation of the entire story in “Twins,” where Vince (Danny DeVito) and Julius (Arnold Schwarzenegger) are really just living a modern-day “Comedy of Errors,” and there is another DeVito and another Schwarzenegger out there. Of course, nobody wants them to suddenly be revealed not to be twins, right? So, what if instead there were more twins? In fact they are quadruplets, and you throw in Bette Midler and Lilly Tomlin (I’ve still got “Comedy of Errors” remakes on the brain, obviously).

Yeah, that’s jumping too far. Going with a still-long-hidden triplet is more plausible (though still, really, hardly plausible at all). We’ve already got the perfect man and the all-flaws man, so what’s missing? A female sibling, of course. Some studio exec would likely want to go with a hot young actress for this role, but that would make no sense at all, unless it turns out the woman has a rare non-aging “disease” as a result of the experiment. Or they can go with a hot actress around the age of the other siblings: Helen Mirren.

I bet Meryl Streep would also be down for such an idea, and she’d give the sequel more clout (Mirren might have before the “Arthur” remake turned out bad). Especially with this pitch: it’s now a political allegory/satire in which a third party is introduced (go ahead and make Streep look Palin-ish) just as Julius is about to run for President on the Republican ticket. I’m not going to provide all the details, mainly because I’m not political-minded enough, but I can actually see “Triplets” being like America’s long-overdue-but-til-now-inopportune remake of the Indian classic “Amar Akbar Anthony,” which is about brothers separated at birth who are raised allegorically to represent the three main religious groups of their nation. Schwarzenegger is already totally our Amitabh Bachchan, am I right?

So that’s the only way you can do it, Universal, if you must.

More notes, links and things up for discussion after the jump.

– Speaking of babies (sort of), the casting of Cameron Diaz in “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” is all that’s new about that news. Here’s what I had to say at Cinematical a little over a year ago:

And if What to Expect is a big enough hit, expect to see the guide’s sequel, What to Expect: The First Year, turned into a movie as well. Actually, let’s just go ahead and count on that happening even if this first movie isn’t successful, solely on account of how people will go see a movie just because it has cute babies in it. Murkoff has published another 11 books related to her original “pregnancy bible,” including one book that could be developed as a prequel to [screenwriter Helen] Hach’s film titled What to Expect Before You’re Expecting.

Given her background as adapter of the Lindsay Lohan version of Freaky Friday and co-author of the book Freaky Monday, I’m actually looking forward to the ultimate sequel to this idea, What to Expect When You Become the Expected, in which a pregnant woman swaps bodies with her unborn child. Hilarity will ensue, let me tell you!

– Time for a new episode of “Hi, I’m a Marvel…and I’m a DC.” This time Thor and the Green Lantern face off because they both represent a Corps. Actually that similarity isn’t mentioned. But they are alike, but I hear the “Green Lantern” movie is better than “Thor,” which isn’t really saying much. I still can’t wait until John Hodgman and Justin Long are in competing superhero movies and this series comes full circle. For now, though:

– Speaking of “Thor,” in his review for the New York Times A.O. Scott calls the whole “Avengers” franchise a scam:

Translated into the hugely expensive, culture-dominating realm of big-budget moviemaking, however, the tactic of treating the price of a ticket as an installment-plan payment has more in common with a Ponzi scheme. The purpose of putting this movie in theaters is to make sure you and all your friends go to the next one, and then the one after that.

– For Mother’s Day: Mental_Floss looks at 6 Unforgettable Movie Mothers and the Real Moms They Depicted. Titles include “The Sound of Music,” “Mommie Dearest” and “Cheaper by the Dozen.” Due to her fitting the list of mother/teachers I posted the other day, I’m quoting the excerpt on Anna Leonowens, of “The King and I,” “Anna and the King” and more:

Anna Harriette Edwards Leonowens was born in India in 1831. She hid the fact that one of her grandparents was Indian; the rest of her ancestors were British. She had four children (two who died in infancy) with her husband Thomas Leonowens. By the time Thomas died in 1859, Anna had already founded schools in both Australia and Singapore. To support her daughter and son, she accepted a job teaching the 39 wives and 82 children of King Mongkut in 1862. Leonowens took her young son with her and sent her daughter to school in England. She served the king until his death in 1868. Leonowens moved to New York where she wrote travel articles and worked on her book. She then moved on to Canada where she founded the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design and later retired to live in Montreal. Leonowens was a crusader for women’s rights and women’s education until she died in 1915. Some say that her adventures in Siam were somewhat exaggerated, or possibly made up of whole cloth, but one of her students, Mongkut’s successor King Chulalongkorn made many reforms including beginning the process to abolish slavery in Siam.

– Another great electronica movie score hits you via SXSW sensation “Attack the Block.” Here’s some of that music, by Basement Jaxx, via Badass Digest:

Basement Jaxx – “The Ends” from “Attack The Block” by Basement Jaxx

– Speaking of “Attack the Block,” Live for Films has discovered an alien (or “large unknown creature”) up for auction on eBay in the UK. They think it’s viral marketing for the upcoming movie, and I agree (and hope — unless some inner city kids can really save us from an invasion).

– I had no idea Dan Kois’ had written about the idea of lying about liking a movie in the New York Times last week when I posted my discussion prompt this week (also in my defense, I’d constantly mentioned in prior posts that I was going to ask such a question). Anyway, now Dustin Rowles at Pajiba is also curious about the idea, via Kois. Here’s part of his post:
But are there movies that you’ve lied about loving? I generally cop out on the question: I’ll say I appreciated films like Solaris and 2011 Space Odyssey, but I won’t admit I liked them. Because I didn’t. Terrence Malick falls into the same category: I always look forward to his films, mostly because I think: This next one, I’m really going to get. It’s going to sink in this time. I’m going to enjoy and not just appreciate, and finally understand what it is so many others love about his work.

– Another trailer uses Grieg’s “In the Hall of the Mountain King,” which is getting way out of hand this year. But anyway Michael Winterbottom’s “The Trip” is one of my favorites from Tribeca this year — “often downbeat but consistently hilarious,” I wrote. Watch the new trailer, and trust that there’s actually more to the movie than foodie porn and celebrity impersonations. Not much more, but some.

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