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Thor Will Molest Your Eye Sockets, Plus: Something Borrowed, The Beaver, Last Night, Passion Play

Thor Will Molest Your Eye Sockets, Plus: Something Borrowed, The Beaver, Last Night, Passion Play

Finally, as summer is nigh, moviegoers are faced with a wide range of prospects this weekend. Jodie Foster’s The Beaver delivers a solid family drama with a standout performance from Mel Gibson–even if it’s duller than his tabloid life. Something Borrowed tries to be more than your average rom-com–and fails. Marvel’s Thor is well inside the comfort zone for folks who grew up on the comic books; its strong cast and huge budget deliver, especially the magnificent Chris Hemsworth, whose “gigantic man-boobs and superhero six-pack molested our eye sockets in all of their 3D glory,” reports MCN‘s Heather Havrilesky.

Details, reviews, images and trailers for the weekend’s offerings are below:

The indiesphere brings the glorious-looking cast of Last Night and sumptuous cinematography in The Vintner’s Luck (from Whalerider director Niki Caro), as well as Japan’s excellently reviewed Caterpillar, the hyper-violent Hobo with a Shotgun, the shocking but true look at America’s food and health issues in Lee Fulkerson’s doc Forks over Knives, and Lee Chang-dong’s heartbreaking and exquisite Poetry. And in case you were wondering what could possibly be worse than Passion Play, which ThePlaylist calls “An Excruciating, Unbearable Disaster” (which we suspect only got its straight to DVD fate reversed thanks to Megan Fox’s Armani underwear ads), it seems An Invisible Sign is the answer. It currently has 0% on the Tomatometer. If you can’t resist Fox as a stripper-angel and Jessica Alba as a mathematical genius, don’t let us stop you — but we’re actually recommending Thor‘s man-boobs unless you can get yourself to LA’s Royal theater where Poetry is playing.

Thor, Paramount | Dir: Kenneth Branagh, Cast: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgard, Kat Dennings | 81% Tomatometer | 58% Metacritic | Will Thor Be the Latest Jewel In Marvel Crown? | TOH! Review Round-up.

Something Borrowed, Warner Bros. | Dir: Luke Greenfield, Cast: Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson, Colin Egglesfield, John Krasinski | 12% Tomatometer | 36% Metacritic | TOH! Review Round-up.

The Beaver, Summit | Dir: Jodie Foster, Cast: Mel Gibson, Cherry Jones, Jodie Foster, Anton Yelchin, Jennifer Lawrence, Riley Thomas Stewart, Zachary Booth | 70% Tomatometer | 59% Metacritic | B- criticWIRE | TOH! Interviews Foster | Women and Hollywood | Caryn James.

Poetry, Kino International (South Korea) | Dir: Chang-dong Lee, Cast: Jeong-hie Yun, Nae-sang Ahn, Da-wit Lee | TOH! Exclusive Clips and Interview with Lee | 100% Tomatometer.

Last Night, Miramax | Dir: Massy Tadjedin, Cast: Keira Knightley, Sam Worthington, Eva Mendes, Guilaume Canet | 50% Tomatometer | 55% Metacritic | B- criticWIRE | TOH! Interviews Tadjedin | “The Weekend’s Best Romance.

Hobo with a Shotgun, Magnet Releasing | Dir: Jason Eisener, Cast: Rutger Hauer, Pasha Ebrahimi, Rob Wells, Brian Downey, Gregory Smith | 76% Tomatometer | 63% Metacritic | B- criticWIRE | “Takes aim at good taste.

Jumping the Broom, TriStar | Dir: Salim Akil, Cast: Angela Bassett, Paula Patton, Laz Alonso, Loretta Devine, Meagan Good, Tasha Smith, Julie Bowen | 48% Tomatometer | 58% Metacritic |

Octubre (Peru) | Dir: Diego Vega, Daniel Vega | Cast: Bruno Odar, Gabriela Velasquez, Carlos Gasols | indieWIRE | 75% Tomatometer.

Caterpillar, Lorber Films (Japan) | Dir: Kôji Wakamatsu, Cast: Shinobu Terajima, Keigo Kasuya, Emi Masuda, Sabu Kawahara | 100% Tomatometer | B criticWIRE | “Makes horror out of wartime propoganda.

There Be Dragons, Samuel Goldwyn Films | Dir: Roland Joffe, Cast: Charlie Cox, Wes Bentley, Dougray Scott, Unax Ugalde, Olga Kurylenko | 13% Tomatometer | 31% Metacritic.

Forks Over Knives, Monica Beach Media | Dir: Lee Fulkerson | 78% Tomatometer | 69% Metacritic | indieWIRE | Earth Day Films.

The Vintner’s Luck (New Zealand/France) | Dir: Niki Caro, Cast: Jérémie Renier, Gaspard Ulliel, Vera Farmiga, Keisha Castle-Hughes | indieWIRE.

Passion Play, Image Entertainment | Dir: Mitch Glazer, Cast: Mickey Rourke, Megan Fox, Billy Murray, Kelly Lynch | 7% Tomatometer | 16% Metacritic | D+ criticWIRE | “An Excruciating, Unbearable Disaster.

An Invisible Sign, IFC | Dir: Marilyn Agrelo, Cast: Jessica Alba, Chris Messina, J.K. Simmons, Bailee Madison, Sonia Braga | 0% | ThePlaylist.

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