Oscars Live: A Minute By Minute Rundown of the 2012 Academy Awards

The 84th Annual Academy Awards are going down tonight in Los Angeles. Indiewire’s team will be offering minute by minute coverage of everything Oscar throughout the show.

8:36 PST: Best Picture – “The Artist.” It pains to me say for the second consecutive year, but #worstoscarsever. Good night, all.

8:32 PST: Tom Cruise takes the stage to put us all out of our misery.

8:22 PST: Colin Firth gives the best actress Oscar to…MERYL STREEP. Her first Oscar since 1982. The only shocking moment of the night. And she delivers a classic Meryl speech.

8:19 PST: Two to go. Probably my best predictions ever (likely 21/24). Sadly, also the worst Oscars ever.

8:16 PST: “I love your country!” – Jean Dujardin

8:10 PST: Natalie Portman gives best actor Oscar to…. Jean Dujardin, “The Artist.” I would have won $4,000 in online gambling if Pitt somehow won. Goodbye, dreams of no credit card debt.

8:08 PST: Gabourey Sidibe, the sole representation of non-white America.

8:00 PST: In Memoriam, from Elizabeth Taylor to Bingham Ray to Whitney Houston to Sidney Lumet to Peter Falk… Very sad year.

7:56 PST: Honorary Oscar recap/bathroom break.

7:54 PST: Hazanavicius is expectedly charming. Thanks Uggie.

7:53 PST: zzzzzzzz… Best Director – Michel Hazanavicius, “The Artist”

7:51 PST: FOUR TO GO. Michael Douglas takes stage to present best director…

7:45 PST: Best Animated Short – “The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore”

7:44 PST: Yes, https://twitter.com/angiesrightleg has already been created.

7:43 PST: Best Documentary Short – “Saving Face”

7:42 PST: Scorsese!

7:40 PST: Adorable father/daughter win. Best Live Action Short: The Shore – Terry George and Oorlagh George

7:37 PST: And now begins the best part of the Oscars: The cast of “Bridesmaids” present the short film awards!

7:31 PST: Damn, that score from “Beginners” melts me every time.

7:29 PST: Best Original Screenplay – Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris” His first win in 24 years.

7:27 PST: Bret from “Flight of the Conchords” followed by the Dean from “Community’! Aka, Best Adapted Screenplay – The Descendants – Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, and Jim Rash

7:25 PST: Angelina Jolie’s legs steal it all.

7: 21 PST: FYI: “Hugo” has now won more Oscars than “Raging Bull,” “Taxi Driver” and “Goodfellas” combined.

7:18 PST: Bret McKenzie! “Flight of the Conchords” star wins Best Original Song for “Man or Muppet.”

7:16 PST: Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell bring down the house with a hilariously bizarre little sketch as they present the 2 nominee-wide best original song award.

7:13 PST: The reign begins? Best Original Score – “The Artist”

7:10 PST: Penelope Cruz and Owen Wilson take the stage for best original score…

7:00 PST: Best Supporting Actor – Christopher Plummer. Expected, but glorious. Oldest acting winner ever, first Canadian male actor to ever win. Sorry, Ryan Gosling.

6:59 EST: At 82, Christopher Plummer looks roughly 2 decades younger than Nick Nolte.

6:57 PST: Wow, they let Melissa Leo back. Here comes Christopher Plummer!

6:55 PST: Best Visual Effects: “Hugo” upsets “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” for Oscar #5

6:52 PST: Emma Stone and Ben Stiller presenting best visual effects… Stone kills it and joins Chris Rock as one of the few people who haven’t embarassed themselves tonight.

6:47 PST: Best Animated Feature: “Rango”

6:44 PST: Clearly, Chirs Rock didn’t use whoever was writing Billy Crystal’s jokes, giving the night a much needed dose of actual funny as he presents best animated feature…

6:42 PST: Best Documentary Feature – “Undefeated”

6:40 PST: Robert Downey Jr and Gwyneth Paltrow make a half-funny entrance spoofing celebrity documentary before presenting the award for best doc feature (perhap the least sewn up award of the night).

6:35 PST: The three words I fear the most at any awards show: Cirque du Soleil

6:33 PST: Kermit and Miss Piggy take the stage, also making it clear they’d be better hosts.

6:27 PST: Fey and Cooper get a third one. Best Sound Mixing – “Hugo,” again. That’s “Hugo” 4, “The Artist” 1 for those counting. Not a big fan of either, but at least we have hope for some excitement ahead? Minimal, slight hope..

6:24 PST: On to the next… Best Sound Editing – “Hugo” makes it a hat trick.

6:22 PST: Best Film Editing – Shit, a full on surprise! Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter make it two years in a row for “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.”

6:20 PST: Tina Fey and Bradley Cooper take the stage to present best film editing.

6:19 PST: A sketch featuring Fred Willard, Bob Balaban, Eugene Levy, Christopher Guest and Catherine O’Hara! Finally, Oscar 2012 has a high point. Collective hosts, nest year, svp.

6:13 PST: Octavia Spencer is expectedly adorable, even if she can’t quite deliver a coherent speech.

6:12 PST: Best Supporting Actress – Octavia Spencer, “The Help”

6:10 PST: Christian Bale onstage to assumingly give Octavia Spencer an Oscar.

6:09 PST: “A Separation” director Asghar Farhadi keeps the politics subtle in an effective little speech.

6:08 PST: Best Foreign Language Film: “A Separation” deservedly brings us no surprises.

6:05 PST: Sandra Bullock takes the stage and explains to us the foreign language film category in German.

6:01 PST: No. More. Montages. What’s the point og this one? Explaining that going to movies has been inspiring for some rich white people?

6:00 PST: Fun fact: J. Roy Helland has been Meryl’s personal makeup artist for 37 years.

5:59 PST: Best Makeup: “The Iron Lady”

5:58 PST: And now Lopez and Diaz get to present best makeup. How… Ladylike?

5:56 PST: Best Costume Design: “The Arist” begins its potential sweep.

5:54 PST: Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz take the stage to present best costume design.

5:53 PST: Nice showing “When Harry Met Sally” at the end of the montage to remind us Billy Crystal once worked.

5:51 PST: “Forrest Gump,” “Titanic” and “Twilight” lead off the first of assumingly many pointless montages.

5:47 PST: “This is for Martin, and Italy” – Francesca Lo Schiavo, art director of “Hugo.”

5:46 PST: Best Art Direction: 2 for 2. “Hugo.”

5:44 PST: Tom Hanks is just shooting them out… Best Art Direction next.

5:42 PST: Best Cinematography: “Hugo” upsets “The Artist” and “The Tree of Life”

5:42 PST: Tom Hanks on stage to present, looking old and making it once again feel like its 1995.

5:40 PST: Is it too late to go find Eddie Murphy? Or, god, James Franco?

5:38 PST: And now he’s singing and dancing. Some (all?) things never change.

5:37 PST: First great line oft he night: “Were here at the Chapter 11 theater.”

5:36 PST: Crystal takes the stage in human form, impressively declaring this his 9th time as host…

5:34 PST: The montage is essentially a rehash of what he’s done a bunch of times before – except considerably less funny.

5:32 PST: Oh no, a Justin Bieber cameo.

5:30 PST: Morgan Freeman takes the stage to kick things off… Introducing a parody montage — yawn — featuring Billy Crystal inserted into various films from 2011.

5:28 PST: The show is about to begin, and for the next 3-5 hours, Indiewire will be bringing you a minute by minute (ish) rundown of this year’s Oscars.

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